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October 2024
- Oct 21, 2024 Tracksmith Gets ‘Intimate’ With Handcrafted Anal Beads Oct 21, 2024
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September 2024
- Sep 23, 2024 Poser in HOKA T-Shirt Probably Can’t Even Name Three HOKA Models Sep 23, 2024
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June 2024
- Jun 24, 2024 Beginning Runner Not Yet Confident Enough to Try It Without Floaties Jun 24, 2024
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May 2024
- May 20, 2024 Runner Who Just Got $55 Tracksmith Hat Not Much Happier Than He Was Before He Got $55 Tracksmith Hat May 20, 2024
- May 15, 2024 ‘Nice Socks Are an Affordable Luxury,’ Says Runner Who Owns $437 Worth of Nice Socks May 15, 2024
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April 2024
- Apr 17, 2024 Nike Offers Sneak Peek at USATF Uniform for 2028 Olympics Apr 17, 2024
- Apr 1, 2024 In Hilarious April Fool's Prank, Running Shoe Makers Pledge to Move Factories From Asia to U.S. Apr 1, 2024
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March 2024
- Mar 27, 2024 Consumer Watchdogs Accuse Nike of 'Shrinkflation' Mar 27, 2024
- January 2024
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December 2023
- Dec 18, 2023 ‘At Least My Shoes Are Super,’ Sad Runner Tells Self Dec 18, 2023
- Dec 13, 2023 Tracksmith Unveils ‘Back When Fat, Slow People Didn’t Run’-Scented Candle Dec 13, 2023
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November 2023
- Nov 20, 2023 Breaking: Dad Just Bought a Pair of On Running Shoes Nov 20, 2023
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October 2023
- Oct 4, 2023 Nobel Prize for Marketing Awarded to Guy Who Got Everyone to Buy Those Walking Pole Things Oct 4, 2023
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September 2023
- Sep 20, 2023 Nation’s Race Directors Celebrate Giveaway of 10 Billionth Branded Bottle Opener Sep 20, 2023
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May 2023
- May 11, 2023 Pink-Clad Stranger Tells Wearer of Carbon-Plated Shoes That She’s Always Had the Power to Go Fast May 11, 2023
- May 3, 2023 Former Gillette Exec Proposes Running Shoe With 5 Carbon Plates May 3, 2023
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February 2023
- Feb 13, 2023 Adidas Unveils First Ever Boston Marathon 'DNF' Jacket Feb 13, 2023
- Feb 6, 2023 ‘Sure, We’ll RECYCLE Your Old Shoes,’ Running Store Employee Assures Customer Feb 6, 2023
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December 2022
- Dec 14, 2022 Runner Marks 18th Birthday With Visit to Local Running Store’s ‘Adult’ Section Dec 14, 2022
- Dec 12, 2022 Tracksmith Recalls 1,200 Tops, Citing Dangerous Levels of Heritage Dec 12, 2022
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November 2022
- Nov 23, 2022 Man Who Saves Old Running Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff Has 18 Pairs of Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff Nov 23, 2022
- Nov 21, 2022 INSPIRATION ALERT! A Running Store Donated 10 Pairs of Sweet Carbon-Plated Shoes to a Homeless Shelter Nov 21, 2022
- Nov 16, 2022 Local Runner's Pre-Race Photo Clearly a Cry for Help Nov 16, 2022
- Nov 2, 2022 In Time-Saving Move, Nation’s Race Directors Pledge to Send Cheap Shirts and Medals Directly to Landfills Nov 2, 2022
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October 2022
- Oct 12, 2022 Moron Calls Singlet ‘Tank Top’ Oct 12, 2022
- September 2022
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August 2022
- Aug 17, 2022 Tracksmith Meeting Descends Into Chaos When Designer Floats Idea of Double-Striped Singlet Aug 17, 2022
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July 2022
- Jul 13, 2022 Smartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time Jul 13, 2022
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June 2022
- Jun 27, 2022 Western States Finisher Starting to Think No One Will Ever Ask About His Belt Buckle Jun 27, 2022
- Jun 1, 2022 Comments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips Jun 1, 2022
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May 2022
- May 29, 2022 Local Runner Honors Memories of Fallen U.S. Military Personnel by Stocking Up on Energy Chews May 29, 2022
- May 25, 2022 Kipchoge Narrows Medal Rack Choices Down to Two May 25, 2022
- May 18, 2022 Garmin Enters Running Shoe Market, Because, Fuck It, Why Not? May 18, 2022
- May 11, 2022 Nike Executive Psychs Self Up for Big Shoelace Presentation May 11, 2022
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April 2022
- Apr 27, 2022 Guy With $600 Watch Still Manages to Be 10 Minutes Late for Everything Apr 27, 2022
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March 2022
- Mar 14, 2022 ‘Do You Need a Massage Gun?’ Asks Website That Makes Money Every Time Someone Buys a Massage Gun Mar 14, 2022
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February 2022
- Feb 21, 2022 Local Runner Wishes He Had a Helmet So He Could Do That Cool Thing That Cyclists Do With Their Sunglasses Feb 21, 2022
- Feb 7, 2022 Metaphor for Life’s Grim Futility Has Handy Little Place to Keep Water Bottle Feb 7, 2022
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January 2022
- Jan 19, 2022 2022 Boston Marathon Jacket Pays Homage to B.A.A. Unicorn Jan 19, 2022
- Jan 5, 2022 Nike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025 Jan 5, 2022
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October 2021
- Oct 20, 2021 New Headlamp Powerful, But Can’t Illuminate Running Partner’s Mysterious Past Oct 20, 2021
- Oct 18, 2021 Psychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes Oct 18, 2021
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September 2021
- Sep 27, 2021 Local Woman Discovers ‘Massager’ Really Is Massager Sep 27, 2021
- Sep 8, 2021 Running Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused Sep 8, 2021
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August 2021
- Aug 5, 2021 In Latest Tokyo Olympics Scandal, Marathon Runs Out of Size Medium Finisher Shirts Aug 5, 2021
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July 2021
- Jul 21, 2021 Old Runner Has Old Jacket Jul 21, 2021
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May 2021
- May 26, 2021 Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’ May 26, 2021
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April 2021
- Apr 14, 2021 Online Running Store Actively Tries to Discourage Purchase of Short Shorts Apr 14, 2021
- Apr 5, 2021 Running Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50 Apr 5, 2021
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February 2021
- Feb 10, 2021 Owner of 7 Running Jackets ‘Just Looking’ at Running Jackets Feb 10, 2021
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January 2021
- Jan 25, 2021 'Baby’s First Strava' Aimed at Social-Minded, Data-Loving Infants Jan 25, 2021
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December 2020
- Dec 21, 2020 Slow Runner Has Fast Shoes Dec 21, 2020
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November 2020
- Nov 11, 2020 I Found the Best Jogging Stroller Under $200, and I Will Take This Information to My Grave Nov 11, 2020
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October 2020
- Oct 14, 2020 Latest Garmin Watch Features Pre-Broken Strap Oct 14, 2020
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September 2020
- Sep 23, 2020 ‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring Sep 23, 2020
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August 2020
- Aug 28, 2020 Neck Gaiter Brand BUFF® Enters Condom Market Aug 28, 2020
- Aug 13, 2020 Local Runner Wishes He Hadn't Burned All His Neck Gaiters Aug 13, 2020
- Aug 1, 2020 'Sponsored Post' Writer Scrubs and Scrubs But Still Feels Dirty Aug 1, 2020
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July 2020
- Jul 29, 2020 Local Runner Has Adorable Little Drink Belt With Cute Little Drink Bottles Jul 29, 2020
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May 2020
- May 26, 2020 Editorial Wizard Transforms Ad Into Article With Addition of Byline May 26, 2020
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March 2020
- Mar 31, 2020 New Nike ZoomX Vapormask 4% Faster Than Other Face Masks Mar 31, 2020
- Mar 25, 2020 Shoes Break In New Runner Mar 25, 2020
- Mar 2, 2020 Saucony Cancels Update of Covid 18 Shoe Mar 2, 2020
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February 2020
- Feb 12, 2020 Compression Gear the Closest Local Runner Ever Gets to Being Hugged Feb 12, 2020
- Feb 10, 2020 ‘Gear Makers Have Always Embraced Innovation,’ Adidas Rep Says of New Enchanted Shoe That Grants Wearer the Power of Flight Feb 10, 2020
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January 2020
- Jan 29, 2020 Baggy Shorts Conceal Penis, Scrotum Jan 29, 2020
- Jan 16, 2020 Nike Exec: Vaporfly Shoes ‘Totally Fair, Assuming Everyone Else Is Also Wearing Vaporfly Shoes’ Jan 16, 2020
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December 2019
- Dec 16, 2019 Running Store Has This One Weird Brand of Shoe You’ve Never Heard of Before Dec 16, 2019
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November 2019
- Nov 29, 2019 The 2019 Dumb Runner Holiday Gift Guide Nov 29, 2019
- Nov 5, 2019 Critics Say New Balance 'DAD/&' Shoe Gives Some Middle-Aged Fathers Unfair Advantage Nov 5, 2019
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September 2019
- Sep 25, 2019 New Trail Shoes Most Stable Thing in Local Man’s Life Sep 25, 2019
- Sep 16, 2019 ‘Just Put Some Gel in the Heel or Some Shit,’ Harried Shoe Company Exec Barks at Design Team Sep 16, 2019
- Sep 9, 2019 NATHAN Sports Launches Line of Formal Hydration Vests Sep 9, 2019
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August 2019
- Aug 28, 2019 Tracksmith Introduces Line of 'Fun, Affordable' Casual Wear Aug 28, 2019
- Aug 21, 2019 Ask Dr. Dumb: Robot Shorts! Aug 21, 2019
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July 2019
- Jul 29, 2019 Race Shirt Transforms Runner Into Something More Logo Than Man Jul 29, 2019
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June 2019
- Jun 26, 2019 Little Headbands Can Boost Cuteness in Mice, Researchers Say Jun 26, 2019
- Jun 24, 2019 Institute for Juvenile Humor Launches ‘Boner-Conducting Headphone’ Project Jun 24, 2019
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May 2019
- May 10, 2019 Get Dumb Runner's FREE Shoe Size Tool! May 10, 2019
- May 6, 2019 'What If We Made a Whole Marathon Course Out of Foam?' Asks Totally Stoned Running Shoe Designer May 6, 2019
- May 1, 2019 BOB Rolls Out New Line of Budget Jogging Strollers May 1, 2019
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April 2019
- Apr 22, 2019 Blogger's Integrity Surprisingly Affordable, Brand Discovers Apr 22, 2019
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February 2019
- Feb 11, 2019 Thrash Metal Expert Advises Winter Runners to Dress in Slayers Feb 11, 2019
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December 2018
- Dec 17, 2018 2019 Boston Marathon Fancy Hat Unveiled Dec 17, 2018
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November 2018
- Nov 21, 2018 ASICS Unveils New 'Nike' Model Nov 21, 2018
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October 2018
- Oct 29, 2018 Kaepernick Boycott Forces Nike Into Bankruptcy Oct 29, 2018
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September 2018
- Sep 6, 2018 Nike Boycott Not Retroactive, Decides Guy Who Dropped $250 on Zoom Vaporflys Last Week Sep 6, 2018
- Sep 3, 2018 Man's Running Shoes Expire in Middle of 5K Sep 3, 2018
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August 2018
- Aug 13, 2018 Asics Urges Runners to Replace Shoes by End of 3rd Fiscal Quarter Aug 13, 2018
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July 2018
- Jul 16, 2018 Crazy Daredevil Uses Road Shoes on Trail Run Jul 16, 2018
- Jul 1, 2018 Man Can't Tell If New HOKA Shoe Real or Joke Jul 1, 2018
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June 2018
- Jun 25, 2018 Runner Fails to Rock Outfit Jun 25, 2018
- Jun 4, 2018 Woman Delighted to Find Running Shoe in Pretty Lady Colors Jun 4, 2018
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May 2018
- May 21, 2018 Half-Price Shoes Feel Fine, Woman Convinces Self May 21, 2018
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March 2018
- Mar 25, 2018 NipGuards Introduces NipGuards XL for Men With Huge Nipples Mar 25, 2018
- Mar 5, 2018 Nike Will Stop Selling React™ Foam-Equipped AR-15 Mar 5, 2018
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February 2018
- Feb 21, 2018 New Running Shoe Has Kind of Foam Totally Different From Other Kinds of Foam Feb 21, 2018
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January 2018
- Jan 24, 2018 Gait Analysis Confirms Customer Needs New Shoes, Socks, Jacket, Watch Jan 24, 2018
- Jan 17, 2018 Nation's Runners Demand More Products They Can Buy Jan 17, 2018
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December 2017
- Dec 13, 2017 Man Who Hasn't Visited Road Runner Sports Since 2012 Delighted to Discover He's Been a VIP for Past 5 Years Dec 13, 2017
- Dec 6, 2017 CamelBak Rolls Out Limited-Edition Packs Made of Real Camel Dec 6, 2017
- Dec 4, 2017 Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Running Watch Dec 4, 2017
- Dec 3, 2017 Study: New Nike Shoe Boosts Nike Profit Margin by 20% Dec 3, 2017
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November 2017
- Nov 29, 2017 Local Runner Not Buying That Whole 'Be Visible' Thing Nov 29, 2017
- Nov 27, 2017 The 2017 Dumb Runner Holiday Gift Guide Nov 27, 2017
- Nov 7, 2017 Advertisement for Product Adjacent to Article About Product Nov 7, 2017
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October 2017
- Oct 11, 2017 'Running Is Great Because It's So Simple,' Says Guy Wearing $1,170 Worth of Gear Oct 11, 2017
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July 2017
- Jul 25, 2017 Under Armour Rolls Out 'Performance Diapers' for Runners Jul 25, 2017
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June 2017
- Jun 11, 2017 The Dumbest Father's Day Gifts for 7 Types of Runners Jun 11, 2017
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April 2017
- Apr 16, 2017 Special-Edition Boston Shoe Obviously Just Regular Shoe with BOSTON Written On It Apr 16, 2017
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March 2017
- Mar 28, 2017 New App Reminds Runners That Other Human Beings Exist Mar 28, 2017
- Mar 12, 2017 Acme Unveils Sub-2:00 Marathon Shoe Mar 12, 2017
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February 2017
- Feb 28, 2017 A Runner's Guide to Running Socks for Runners Feb 28, 2017
- Feb 19, 2017 Man Walks Around Home Depot in Tights Like It's Perfectly Normal Feb 19, 2017
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December 2016
- Dec 14, 2016 Mystery Woman Emerges From Pond on Nike Campus, Warns Against 2-Hour Marathon Quest Dec 14, 2016
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November 2016
- Nov 28, 2016 New Product for Runners Serves No Apparent Purpose Nov 28, 2016
- Nov 14, 2016 Photo of Runner's Gear Includes Cheese Grater for Some Reason Nov 14, 2016
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September 2016
- Sep 11, 2016 Apple Recalls 15,000 Limited-Edition Trump Watches Sep 11, 2016
- Sep 7, 2016 How to Buy Running Shoes Sep 7, 2016
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August 2016
- Aug 1, 2016 Stroll-a-Jog Recalls 150,000 Jogging Strollers Aug 1, 2016
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July 2016
- Jul 11, 2016 Latest Experimental Innovation from Nike Basically Just Some Glitter Jul 11, 2016
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June 2016
- Jun 14, 2016 Activewear Train Derails in Missouri Jun 14, 2016
- Jun 5, 2016 Nike Introduces Downhill Running Shoe Jun 5, 2016
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May 2016
- May 5, 2016 Lovers of Innovative Chinese Sportswear, Meet Uncle Martian May 5, 2016
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March 2016
- Mar 14, 2016 Holy Shit, Look at These New Running Shoes! Mar 14, 2016
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January 2016
- Jan 6, 2016 7 Things Every New Runner MUST Have Jan 6, 2016
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November 2015
- Nov 27, 2015 The Dumb Runner Gear-Free Gift Guide Nov 27, 2015
In Dumb Runner's opinion, here is what you need to start running...