Smiling Runner in Matching Outfit Seems to Have It All Figured Out
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Depositphotos.com
A relaxed, smiling woman out for a run this morning really seems to have her shit together, Dumb Runner has learned, in a way that you simply do not.
The unidentified woman, with tanned skin and sculpted physique, appeared happy and carefree, according to several sources, and was not wearing a watch of any kind. All of it, sources confirmed, presented a sharp contrast to your own schlubby, data-obsessed self.
“She just seemed to radiate a sense of ease and confidence, you know?” said one source, who, like the others, requested anonymity. “Even her gear was on point—matching top and shorts; nice, clean shoes; subtly complementary socks.”
The woman’s clothing wasn’t faded, torn, or stained, either, as much of yours is.
“This was obviously a person who is clearly on top of things,” the source added. “You could just tell she’s got life figured out.”
“Probably has a perfect house, too, and a high-paying job that’s also creatively gratifying.”
It was unclear how far the woman was running, but one source described her pace as “quick, but not strained at all” and her gait as “super smooth.” One source speculated that she was either running from, or to, a yoga class or one of her many volunteer commitments, perhaps reading to underprivileged children at the local library.
Reached for comment, you confirmed that you despise this person.
