New Trail Shoes Most Stable Thing in Local Man’s Life

A recently purchased pair of running shoes is, by far, the most stable thing in a local runner’s life, Dumb Runner has learned.

Mitch Taylor, a 26-year-old part-time barista and Lyft driver, bought the shoes last weekend. Sources said the occasional grad student immediately found comfort in the purchase, raving to friends about the shoes’ “rock solid ride.”

“Running is really helping (Mitch) cope,” said one longtime friend, who requested anonymity. “His parents just announced they’re getting divorced, he’s kind of living paycheck to paycheck, and it looks like his latest relationship is going south.”

In other words, the friend said, Taylor’s life is “super touch-and-go.” In contrast, the new shoes, a pair of Brooks Cascadia 14 GTX, are as stable as they come. According to the Brooks website, the trail-specific shoes boast thick, wide soles; a “full internal saddle system”; and a “TrailTack Rubber outsole … for increased traction on wet and dry surfaces.”

The shoes, the website continues, offer “SUV-like stability.”

It’s a quality that Taylor’s own life has been lacking for years, sources said.

“I don’t know if he, like, somehow unconsciously needs or craves it, but Mitch has always been the least-stable person I know,” said the friend. “He flits from job to job, never seems to live in the same apartment for more than a few months, and just generally can’t seem to get his act together.”

His new Cacadias, the source concluded, are “easily the most stable part of Mitch’s life right now.”

Reached for comment, Taylor said that while he was enjoying his new shoes, he was already thinking of ditching them “for something lighter,” or giving up running altogether and trying Crossfit instead, or maybe moving to Prague.