ASICS Unveils New 'Nike' Model

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In a move to inject new life into its struggling running shoe line, ASICS has introduced a new shoe it’s calling the GEL-NIKE.

“We are thrilled to unveil our newest shoe, the GEL-NIKE,” ASICS wrote in a statement. “We’ve taken ASICS’ decades of technological innovations, including FlyteFoam cushioning, G.W.A.R. heel platforms, and HyperSplay FLEX-O Dyna soles, and married them to a Nike swoosh.”

“The result is nothing less than the most exciting running shoe on the market today.”

Industry experts were left scratching their heads.

“I haven’t seen an actual sample yet,” said Roger Waters, Ph.D., a professor of biomechanics and running shoe retail at Floyd College. “But judging from the photos and the news release, it appears to be, basically, an ASICS shoe with a swoosh on the side.”

“Am I missing something?”

Others suggested ASICS might be trying to trick running store customers into thinking they were reaching for a Nike shoe when they went for the GEL-NIKE, a notion that ASICS flatly rejected.

Reached for comment, Nike seemed unaware of ASICS’ new shoe.

“They did what now?” said a spokeswoman.

The GEL-NIKE is available December 1 and will retail for $160.