BREAKING: ‘I Need to Get Back in Shape,’ Says Man Who Has Never Really Been in Shape

BREAKING: ‘I Need to Get Back in Shape,’ Says Man Who Has Never Really Been in Shape

Gear News
INCLUSION FTW! Nike Just Dropped a Tech Shirt for Runners With Huge Forearms Like Popeye’s
INCLUSION FTW! Nike Just Dropped a Tech Shirt for Runners With Huge Forearms Like Popeye’s

Move is hailed as a “watershed moment” for athletes with cartoonish bodies.

Running News from DumbRunner.com
TRAGIC! Just 1 Mile from the Finish, Dozens of Runners in This Greek Marathon Were Led Off Course by Indescribably Beautiful Female Singing
TRAGIC! Just 1 Mile from the Finish, Dozens of Runners in This Greek Marathon Were Led Off Course by Indescribably Beautiful Female Singing

Thousands of others finish safely, thanks to plugged ears.

In Cost-Cutting Move, Runner’s World Eliminates Vowels
In Cost-Cutting Move, Runner’s World Eliminates Vowels

“Rdrs wll hrdl knw th dffrnc,” publisher says in a statement.

‘It’s Not You, It’s Us,’ NYC Marathon Tells Rejected Applicant
‘It’s Not You, It’s Us,’ NYC Marathon Tells Rejected Applicant

Patronizing email only makes things worse.

BREAKING: L.A. Marathon Organizers Wondering Whether It Too Late to Claim Website Was Hacked
BREAKING: L.A. Marathon Organizers Wondering Whether It Too Late to Claim Website Was Hacked

Finisher’s medal backlash leaves staffers feeling besieged.

Featured
Local Runner Detects Notes of Lemon, Lime in Sports Drink
Local Runner Detects Notes of Lemon, Lime in Sports Drink

Hydration connoisseur calls 2024 Gatorade “playful.”

National Association of Dude-Bro Dietitians Recommends That Everyone Check Out These Melons
National Association of Dude-Bro Dietitians Recommends That Everyone Check Out These Melons

Round, firm fruit declared “nice.”

New Regulations Require Graphic Warning Labels on Energy Gels
New Regulations Require Graphic Warning Labels on Energy Gels

“Fair enough,” say sports nutrition brands.

Local Woman Motivates Self by Holding Delicious Snack Inches From Mouth for Entire Run
Local Woman Motivates Self by Holding Delicious Snack Inches From Mouth for Entire Run

Tantalizing treat remains just out of reach, regardless of pace.

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