So you've decided to become a runner. Good for you! Running is a wonderful sport. There's no better way to clear your mind, improve your health, and meet new friends.
Best of all, it's simple. You hardly need anything at all to get started! Just these seven items.
1. Good Shoes
Not bad shoes. Good ones. This is a small distinction but a crucial one, and it trips up many new runners.
"If I'm going to run, I'll need some running shoes," these new runners say. "Think I'll get these bad ones."
No! Don't get the bad ones! Spend a little more and get the good ones.
2. Non-Cotton Socks
Don't even think of running in cotton socks. Cotton socks will make your feet bleed internally, then swell and eventually burst, sending bits of EVA foam and shards of bone flying toward anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby. Instead choose socks made of merino wool or synthetics.
If you have cotton socks at home, burn them immediately.
You don't need a fancy-schmancy model. Just something that can tell you how long you've been running. Also what time it is, to avoid scenarios like this one:
You, playing slots in Las Vegas casino, which has no windows or clocks: "I'm on a roll!"
Friend, concerned: "Hey, do you think it's time for your run?"
You, glancing at bare wrist: "Nah, probably not."
4. Running-Themed Bumper Sticker
This is mandated by federal law.
5. Philips Sonicare DiamondClean Sonic Electric Toothbrush
Neglecting dental hygiene is a classic rookie mistake, made by too many new runners.
6. Banana Hanger
What, were you planning to just let your bananas lie there on the counter, like some sort of asshole? Maybe that's how non-runners do it. Not us.
7. Sports Bra
An absolute necessity for women runners. And men, don't think you're off the hook—we recommend you purchase several sports bras as well, so you can carry them with you while you run as a visible sign of solidarity with your female counterparts.
At a minimum, you should keep a photo, such as the one above, handy and refer to it often. Also out of solidarity.
Welcome to running!