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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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Featured
OPINION: Stop Shaming Newbies Who Don't Know What ‘5’ Means, or How Numerals Work in General
May 28, 2025
OPINION: Stop Shaming Newbies Who Don't Know What ‘5’ Means, or How Numerals Work in General
May 28, 2025

Do better, gatekeepers.

May 28, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'
May 22, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'
May 22, 2025

Take a hike, Brian—and then recover from that hike!

May 22, 2025
Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her
May 21, 2025
Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her
May 21, 2025

Woman appreciates feeble gesture.

May 21, 2025
American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate
May 19, 2025
American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate
May 19, 2025

Local man intends to “load up on long runs” during visit.

May 19, 2025
Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo
May 14, 2025
Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo
May 14, 2025

Meta image shared on Meta social media platforms.

May 14, 2025
SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone
May 12, 2025
SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone
May 12, 2025

Strangers show little interest in local runner’s photos.

May 12, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'
May 8, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'
May 8, 2025

You are not alone.

May 8, 2025
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?
May 7, 2025
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?
May 7, 2025

Short answer: Absolutely.

May 7, 2025
Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions
May 5, 2025
Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions
May 5, 2025

New directive flummoxes athletes and event directors alike.

May 5, 2025
Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death
Apr 30, 2025
Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death
Apr 30, 2025

Self-taught expert says she can spot blunt-force trauma from 20 feet away.

Apr 30, 2025
New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop
Apr 28, 2025
New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop
Apr 28, 2025

“Really Red” traffic light may be next, officials say.

Apr 28, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #127: 'Foul'
Apr 24, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #127: 'Foul'
Apr 24, 2025

Just watch your step.

Apr 24, 2025
Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah
Apr 16, 2025
Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah
Apr 16, 2025

List of marathon-related references nearly exhausted.

Apr 16, 2025
Running a Marathon Turns Your Brain Awesome, Researchers Find
Apr 14, 2025
Running a Marathon Turns Your Brain Awesome, Researchers Find
Apr 14, 2025

Awesomeness levels nearly quintuple after just one marathon, study finds.

Apr 14, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #126: 'Half'
Apr 10, 2025
Dumb Runner Illustrated #126: 'Half'
Apr 10, 2025

But you didn’t hear it from me.

Apr 10, 2025
Local Runner Blames Poor Marathon Performance on DEI
Apr 9, 2025
Local Runner Blames Poor Marathon Performance on DEI
Apr 9, 2025

Link remains unclear.

Apr 9, 2025
Deceased Runner Drowned in Own Data, Autopsy Finds
Apr 2, 2025
Deceased Runner Drowned in Own Data, Autopsy Finds
Apr 2, 2025

Fitness stats and data “just too much” for local man, says medical examiner.

Apr 2, 2025
Indecisive Runner Causes Quarter-Mile Backup at Marathon Aid Station
Mar 31, 2025
Indecisive Runner Causes Quarter-Mile Backup at Marathon Aid Station
Mar 31, 2025

“They all look so good,” says dithering man. 

Mar 31, 2025
Final Two Runners at Barkley Marathons Forced to Engage in Kirk-vs.-Spock-Style Fight to Death
Mar 20, 2025
Final Two Runners at Barkley Marathons Forced to Engage in Kirk-vs.-Spock-Style Fight to Death
Mar 20, 2025

Hyper-dramatic music adds element of suspense.

Mar 20, 2025
‘I Can’t Run Without Music,’ Says Man Who Labels Self UNSTOPPABLE
Mar 17, 2025
‘I Can’t Run Without Music,’ Says Man Who Labels Self UNSTOPPABLE
Mar 17, 2025

Contradiction eludes self-styled badass.

Mar 17, 2025
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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