Institute for Juvenile Humor Launches ‘Boner-Conducting Headphone’ Project
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Eyeing the lucrative headphones market, an unlikely organization is planning its own unique entry.
The Institute for Juvenile Humor, a think tank based in Swallow Hill, Delaware, said in a statement that it intends to market “boner-conducting” headphones as early as next summer—headphones that bypass the eardrum entirely, instead sending sound waves directly to the cochlea via an erection.
“We’re still very much in the planning stages,” said I.P. Freely, a spokesman for the group during a phone interview. “Also, when you write your article you should say we’re entering the market.’”
“Ha ha,” added Mike Rotch, the group’s chairman. “Entering.”
The project invites comparisons to bone-conducting headphones, such as those made my AfterShokz. But Freely and Rotch said there are some key differences. For one thing, they noted, their own headphones will deliver crisper, cleaner sound. For another, their headphones will “harness the power of boners.”
“Boners,” said Freely.
“Boners,” agreed Rotch. “Ours will use boners. That much we know.”
Pressed for details, Freely and Rotch demurred before finally admitting that the project isn’t very far along in the development process.
“Mostly we have a bunch of whiteboards and stuff with the word boner written on them,” said Rotch. “Plus drawings.”
“Of boners,” said Freely.
Still, the two said they’re optimistic that they’ll have a prototype before the end of the year.
“You could say we’re hard at work,” said Rotch.
The two then erupted in laughter before hanging up the phone.
