Running Addict Needs Shorter and Shorter Shorts to Get the Same High
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runner, depositphotos.com; Background Photo, Vincent Y @USA on Unsplash
A local man is wearing increasingly short running shorts, Dumb Runner has learned, thanks to a tolerance his body has built up over the years—and his loved ones are saying they’re starting to worry.
Martin Hayter, 75, a grandfather of four and self-described running addict, has been running for nearly four decades, according to sources who said the shorts problem became apparent only recently
“Martin has run in short shorts forever, because he’s old-school like that,” said one source who, like the others, requested anonymity. “But over the past few months or so, [the shorts] have crept up, shorter and shorter.”
Another source close to Hayter confirmed that account, adding that the 28-time marathoner himself seems aware of the trend.
“The impression I got after talking to Marty was that he just wasn’t getting the same thrill from running as he used to,” said that source. “But once he tried a slightly shorter pair of shorts, it all came rushing back.”
“Ever since then, it seems like he’s always chasing an ever-shorter pair of shorts,” they added. “It’s scary, because where does this end?”
Experts said Hayter’s situation is more common than most runners think.
“There’s still a lot of stigma associated with short shorts, so folks are reluctant to talk about it,” said Ed Grimley, Ph.D., a professor of running gear at Sajak College. “But yes, it’s a real problem.”
Essentially, Grimley said, the “high” that comes from wearing short shorts on a run diminishes over time, as the body grows accustomed to the sensation; the runner then needs shorter and shorter shorts to re-create that initial thrill.
“It can get pretty ugly,” said Grimley. “Especially if the runner can’t, or won’t, acknowledge the problem.”
That seems to be the case for Hayter, sources said.
“We’ve done everything short of a full-blown intervention,” said one. “Looks like that might be the next step.”
“I mean, before long we’ll be in thong territory. And nobody wants to see that.”
