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August 2024
- Aug 26, 2024 Report: If Local Runner’s Date Doesn’t Show Up Soon, He’s Going to Start Carb-Loading Without Him Aug 26, 2024
- Aug 21, 2024 Local Runner Doesn’t Know Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Doesn’t Care Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Just Wants Chocolate Pudding Aug 21, 2024
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June 2024
- Jun 9, 2024 Little Debbie Snack Brand Pivots to Sports Nutrition Jun 9, 2024
- May 2024
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March 2024
- Mar 13, 2024 American Pickle Council Can’t Believe ‘Drink Pickle Juice’ Stunt Actually Worked Mar 13, 2024
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December 2023
- Dec 20, 2023 ‘Now THIS Is What I Call CHIP TIME,’ Running Dad Says Yet Again Dec 20, 2023
- Dec 4, 2023 Local Runner Adds Insulating Layer of Fat for Long, Cold Winter Dec 4, 2023
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August 2023
- Aug 23, 2023 CLIF Introduces 6-Foot ‘Party Bar’ Aug 23, 2023
- Aug 7, 2023 Heartbroken Runner Spends Evening on Couch Eating GU Straight From Carton Aug 7, 2023
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June 2023
- Jun 14, 2023 Scientists at Gatorade Sports Science Institute Pretty Fucking Sick of Gatorade Jun 14, 2023
- Jun 12, 2023 Nabisco Influencer Taps Into the Power of Nilla to Fuel Her Runs Jun 12, 2023
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November 2022
- Nov 14, 2022 Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Dinner Actually Looks Pretty Good to Local Runner Nov 14, 2022
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August 2022
- Aug 29, 2022 New GU+Scope™ Promises Lasting Energy, Fresh Breath Aug 29, 2022
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June 2022
- Jun 6, 2022 Pure-Hearted Runner Is Sole Survivor of Clif Factory Tour Jun 6, 2022
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November 2021
- Nov 16, 2021 Athletic Brewing Company Introduces Non-Caloric Gels Nov 16, 2021
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August 2021
- Aug 25, 2021 FDA Fully Approves Gummy Bears for Long Run Use Aug 25, 2021
- Aug 10, 2021 Ask Dr. Dumb: Porridge! Aug 10, 2021
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June 2021
- Jun 7, 2021 Ransomware Attack Shuts Down Major GU Pipeline Jun 7, 2021
- March 2021
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February 2021
- Feb 24, 2021 7 Foods to Eat After Your Run Feb 24, 2021
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January 2021
- Jan 13, 2021 Local Runner Always Has Something He’s Trying to ‘Sweat Out’ Jan 13, 2021
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December 2020
- Dec 7, 2020 Beach Runner Regrets Eating That Thing She Found Dec 7, 2020
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November 2020
- Nov 25, 2020 CLIF Launches Line of 100% Meat-Free Energy Bars Nov 25, 2020
- Nov 2, 2020 Child Makes Mental Note to Skip Local Runner's House Next Halloween Nov 2, 2020
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August 2020
- Aug 10, 2020 Woman Still Waiting for Energy Bar to Kick In Aug 10, 2020
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July 2020
- Jul 9, 2020 KitKat Fits in Phone Pouch, Local Runner Delighted to Discover Jul 9, 2020
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May 2020
- May 23, 2020 Hormel Rolls Out Line of Sports Hams May 23, 2020
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March 2020
- Mar 30, 2020 Sports Drink Marketer Suddenly Remembers His ‘Immunity’ Product Doesn’t Actually Do Anything Mar 30, 2020
- Mar 23, 2020 GU, Purell Introduce Co-Branded Gel Mar 23, 2020
- Mar 11, 2020 Local Runner Uses ‘Cheat Day’ to Eat Ice Cream, Sleep With Neighbor’s Wife Mar 11, 2020
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January 2020
- Jan 13, 2020 Local Man Not Feeling So Well After Consuming Steady Diet of Junk for Several Decades Jan 13, 2020
- Jan 6, 2020 Bear Super Mellow After Ingesting 160-Pound Marijuana Edible Jan 6, 2020
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December 2019
- Dec 23, 2019 Runner Listens to Body, Eats Entire Tin of Caramel Corn Dec 23, 2019
- Dec 2, 2019 New CLIF PALEO Bars Basically Just Grilled Chicken Breasts Dec 2, 2019
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October 2019
- Oct 4, 2019 Chef Boyardee Cancels Rollout of Salazar-Endorsed Testosteroni® Oct 4, 2019
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August 2019
- Aug 14, 2019 Lunch Sad Aug 14, 2019
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June 2019
- Jun 3, 2019 Michelob Ultra Launches 'This Is Basically Water' Campaign Jun 3, 2019
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May 2019
- May 22, 2019 Gatorade Introduces 'GatorVape' Electrolyte Juice May 22, 2019
- May 13, 2019 Anti-Sugar PSA Makes Man Want a Soda May 13, 2019
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April 2019
- Apr 29, 2019 Sad, Lonely Man Begins Frozen Pizza Roll-Loading for Marathon Apr 29, 2019
- Apr 10, 2019 Legal Sea Foods to Sponsor 'Chowder Zone' at Mile 20 of Boston Marathon Apr 10, 2019
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March 2019
- Mar 19, 2019 Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets Mar 19, 2019
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February 2019
- Feb 27, 2019 Might as Well Finish Pie, Study Finds Feb 27, 2019
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January 2019
- Jan 14, 2019 GU Rolls Out Seafood-Inspired Flavors Jan 14, 2019
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October 2018
- Oct 22, 2018 7 Alternatives to Handing Out 'Healthy Alternatives' This Halloween Oct 22, 2018
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September 2018
- Sep 26, 2018 Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Beef Improve My Performance? Sep 26, 2018
- Sep 11, 2018 New Diet Plan Calls for Eating Modest Amounts of Variety of Foods Sep 11, 2018
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August 2018
- Aug 29, 2018 Study: Doughnuts Make Breakfast 80% More Delicious Aug 29, 2018
- Aug 22, 2018 New Cookbook Encourages Vegetarians to 'Eat Around' the Meat Aug 22, 2018
- Aug 20, 2018 Stock Photo Gets It Exactly Backwards Aug 20, 2018
- June 2018
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March 2018
- Mar 28, 2018 BREAKING: 19 Energy Gels Apparently 1 Energy Gel Too Many Mar 28, 2018
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February 2018
- Feb 14, 2018 Report: Brownies Also 'Bars' That Provide 'Energy' Feb 14, 2018
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November 2017
- Nov 21, 2017 Hey, Runners—Here's How Much You're Allowed to Eat on Thanksgiving! Nov 21, 2017
- Nov 12, 2017 Mysterious Peddler Offers Trail Runner Magic Beans Nov 12, 2017
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July 2017
- Jul 4, 2017 Betty Crocker Enters Sports Fuel Market With 'Endurance' Frosting Jul 4, 2017
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June 2017
- Jun 4, 2017 Man Dies of Thirst in Local 5K Jun 4, 2017
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May 2017
- May 23, 2017 7 Photos of Runners Slaking Their Thirst, Just Because We Like the Word 'Slake' May 23, 2017
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March 2017
- Mar 6, 2017 'I Love Beet Juice,' Says Total Liar Mar 6, 2017
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February 2017
- Feb 13, 2017 Man Carb-Loading for 5K Has No Idea Why He's Not Losing Weight Feb 13, 2017
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January 2017
- Jan 24, 2017 New Gatorade NAZAL Promises 'Instant Rush' Jan 24, 2017
- Jan 10, 2017 Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel Jan 10, 2017
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October 2016
- Oct 31, 2016 Running and Tacos: FAQ Oct 31, 2016
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September 2016
- Sep 21, 2016 PowerBar Introduces New Line of Runner Feed Sep 21, 2016
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July 2016
- Jul 25, 2016 These Muffins Will Make You Say 'Holy Shit These Are Good Muffins' Jul 25, 2016
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June 2016
- Jun 22, 2016 Let Us Now Praise the Shower Beer Jun 22, 2016
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May 2016
- May 24, 2016 Marathon Champ's Secret: A Surprisingly Simple Diet May 24, 2016
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April 2016
- Apr 26, 2016 Ask Dr. Dumb: Are Juice Cleanses Really Worthless? Apr 26, 2016
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March 2016
- Mar 29, 2016 Researchers: 'Just Eat the F***ing Chocolate' Mar 29, 2016
- Mar 28, 2016 5 Most Delicious Soaps for Runners Mar 28, 2016
- Mar 25, 2016 Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Runners Eat Peeps? Mar 25, 2016
Dumb Runner has nothing against sports drinks. That said, we usually just drink water.