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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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February 16, 2022

Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy
Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

Man wordlessly matches pace from six feet behind.

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February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Women's running, Safety, Unwanted attention, Fear
February 14, 2022

Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

Woman questions proposed course of action.

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February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Physician, Hospital, Terminal patient, Death, Dirt
February 11, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #40: Hypnotic

February 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #40: Hypnotic

Define “need.”

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February 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Comics, New Shoes, Money, Hypnosis, Desire
February 09, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

Short answer? Yes. Slightly longer answer? Absolutely.

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February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Ultras, Injuries, Piles of sticks, Wooded area
February 03, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #39: Breakin'

February 03, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #39: Breakin'

Bring your own cardboard.

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February 03, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Breakdancing, Ridicule, Heart rate
February 02, 2022

Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

Prize proves elusive.

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February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Bib number, Claw Machine, Games of Skill
January 31, 2022

Local Woman Would Like to Go Jogging Just Once Without Finding a Dead Body

January 31, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Would Like to Go Jogging Just Once Without Finding a Dead Body

Longtime jogger dreams of corpse-free outing.

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January 31, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Joggers, Dead body
January 26, 2022

‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

Local man wonders “who cares.”

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January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, News
Strava, Social media, Statistics
January 24, 2022

Reporter Covering Local Marathon Can’t Decide Between ‘Hit the Streets’ and ‘Pound the Pavement’

January 24, 2022/ Mark Remy
Reporter Covering Local Marathon Can’t Decide Between ‘Hit the Streets’ and ‘Pound the Pavement’

Journalist unsure how to discuss those preparing to toe the line.

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January 24, 2022/ Mark Remy/
January 20, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

Break time!

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January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Injuries, Medical advice, X-rays, Shoes
January 17, 2022

EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

“Are you a runner?” “I am not.”

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January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Non-Runners, Marathons, Women's running, Live TV
January 13, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

The thoughts are coming from inside your head!

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January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Distraction, Pod
January 12, 2022

2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy
2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

Elite women “sure to provide plenty of thrills, almost all of which we will miss.”

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January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Live TV, Boston Marathon, Women's running, Gender equity, Broadcasting
January 10, 2022

Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy
Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

Event organizer seeks to reassure public.

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January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Protocols, Race director
January 06, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #36: Only

January 06, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #36: Only

“Also, it was TOTALLY slow. Like, 7:30 pace.”

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January 06, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Distance, Beginners, Motivation, Mileage
January 03, 2022

Local Runner’s 2022 Resolutions Include Signing Up For Marathon, Training for Marathon, Making Travel Arrangements for Marathon, Doing Virtual Race, Alone, When Marathon Gets Canceled

January 03, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner’s 2022 Resolutions Include Signing Up For Marathon, Training for Marathon, Making Travel Arrangements for Marathon, Doing Virtual Race, Alone, When Marathon Gets Canceled

“I got this,” says woman.

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January 03, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Virtual race, Goals
December 23, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #35: Wonderful

December 23, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #35: Wonderful

Every time a bell rings, a medical specialist gets a copay.

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December 23, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Holidays, Angels, Clarence, Orthopedics, Injuries
December 21, 2021

The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2021

December 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2021

Number 9 will blow your mind! (Not really.)

Read More
December 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
2021, Most Popular
December 20, 2021

Podcast Engrossing

December 20, 2021/ Mark Remy
Podcast Engrossing

Runner fascinated by episode on importance of situational awareness.

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December 20, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Awareness, Podcasts, Headphones, Fire
December 15, 2021

Guy Who Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed for 6 a.m. Run But Did It Anyway Named Time Person of the Year

December 15, 2021/ Mark Remy
Guy Who Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed for 6 a.m. Run But Did It Anyway Named Time Person of the Year

Magazine “breaks the mold” with surprising choice.

Read More
December 15, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Morning run, Person of the Year, Time magazine, Media
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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