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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 16, 2025

Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah

April 16, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah

List of marathon-related references nearly exhausted.

Read More
April 16, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Hopkinton, Wellesley
April 15, 2024

Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

Runner is losing precious minutes as he dithers.

Read More
April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Wellesley, Kiss, Shyness
April 03, 2024

Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

Legendary race director will “look like new” on race day, organizers say.

Read More
April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Dave McGillivray, Paint
September 18, 2023

In Break From Tradition, Boston Marathon Will Now Accept Entrants Based on Personal Whims of This Construction Worker From Dorchester

September 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
In Break From Tradition, Boston Marathon Will Now Accept Entrants Based on Personal Whims of This Construction Worker From Dorchester

Local man will “go with his gut” in deciding whether applicants get in.

Read More
September 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, BQ, Whims, Thumbs up, Thumbs down
April 24, 2023

2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

Dedicated sections will be “equal” to those for whites, statement says.

Read More
April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
B.A.A., Boston Marathon, Racism, Police, Plessy, Ferguson
April 18, 2023

Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

Legendary marathoner can’t catch a break.

Read More
April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Vacation rental, Locks, Irritants
April 12, 2023

Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

Side effects are limited to mild confusion and drooling, statement says.

Read More
April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unicorns, Boston Marathon, B.A.A., Horse, Animal cruelty, Online firestorm
April 03, 2023

Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

Husband also regrets mentioning use of carbon-plated shoes.

Read More
April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Couple, Boston Marathon, BQ, Tact
January 23, 2023

Officials Find ‘No Evidence’ That George Santos Ever Won Boston Marathon

January 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
Officials Find ‘No Evidence’ That George Santos Ever Won Boston Marathon

Debunked claim is the latest among many for embattled U.S. Representative.

Read More
January 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Lies, Politics, Boston Marathon
December 05, 2022

Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

Unusual move “will save everyone time and energy,” organizers say.

Read More
December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Boston Marathon, Fait accompli
April 20, 2022

Boston Marathon Purists Slam Baby for Wearing Onesie He 'Didn't Earn'

April 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Purists Slam Baby for Wearing Onesie He 'Didn't Earn'

Infant’s bodysuit sparks online backlash.

Read More
April 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Baby, Boston Marathon, Stolen valor, Outrage
April 18, 2022

‘Crazy Long Line’ at Dunkin’ Prompts McGillivray to Delay Boston Marathon Start

April 18, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘Crazy Long Line’ at Dunkin’ Prompts McGillivray to Delay Boston Marathon Start

“Be there in 20,” race director tells staff via text.

Read More
April 18, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News
Dave McGillivray, Boston Marathon, Dunkin', Doughnuts
April 13, 2022

Boston Marathon Hugely Overrated, Reports Guy Who Has Tried and Failed Six Times to Qualify for Boston Marathon

April 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Hugely Overrated, Reports Guy Who Has Tried and Failed Six Times to Qualify for Boston Marathon

Vaunted race is “overpriced,” man says, and the weather is almost always awful.

Read More
April 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, BQ, Sour grapes
February 02, 2022

Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

Prize proves elusive.

Read More
February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Bib number, Claw Machine, Games of Skill
January 12, 2022

2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy
2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

Elite women “sure to provide plenty of thrills, almost all of which we will miss.”

Read More
January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Live TV, Boston Marathon, Women's running, Gender equity, Broadcasting
November 03, 2021

Boston Marathon Says Runners in 2022 Must Be Vaccinated or Raise at Least $5,000 for Charity

November 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Says Runners in 2022 Must Be Vaccinated or Raise at Least $5,000 for Charity

Exemption rankles purists, delights vaccine holdouts.

Read More
November 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Vaccines, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Marathons, Charity
October 09, 2021

What You Need to Know About the 2021 Boston Marathon, From a Guy Who Just Found Out His Girlfriend Has Been Cheating on Him

October 09, 2021/ Mark Remy
What You Need to Know About the 2021 Boston Marathon, From a Guy Who Just Found Out His Girlfriend Has Been Cheating on Him

“Ashley and Dan will probably sleep through all of those start times, in Ashley’s bed, since they’ll have been up all night doing it.”

Read More
October 09, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Cheating, Girlfriend
October 06, 2021

Barred From Kissing Boston Marathoners, Wellesley Students Will Instead Kiss Each Other, Playfully at First, According to Man’s Imagination

October 06, 2021/ Mark Remy
Barred From Kissing Boston Marathoners, Wellesley Students Will Instead Kiss Each Other, Playfully at First, According to Man’s Imagination

Tentative exploration will quickly lead to full-blown passion, straight male runner assumes.

Read More
October 06, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Wellesley, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Hot action
August 30, 2021

Boston Marathon Finish Line Volunteers Will Skip Traditional Open-Mouthed Kisses This Year, Organizers Say

August 30, 2021/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Finish Line Volunteers Will Skip Traditional Open-Mouthed Kisses This Year, Organizers Say

B.A.A. suspends longtime custom over COVID fears.

Read More
August 30, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Medals, Kiss
May 10, 2021

Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

The good doctor is back, and as helpful as ever.

Read More
May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dr. Dumb, Boston Marathon, BQ
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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