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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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March 05, 2025

‘First One Is Free,’ Says Race Director Pushing 5K Entries on Street

March 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘First One Is Free,’ Says Race Director Pushing 5K Entries on Street

“Go ahead, on the house,” man tells curious stranger.

Read More
March 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race director, 5K, Gateway distance, Shady characters, Curious, Addiction
August 09, 2023

Family of 83-Year-Old 5K Finisher Asks Race Director to Hurry It Up With That Age-Group Award, if You Know What They Mean

August 09, 2023/ Mark Remy
Family of 83-Year-Old 5K Finisher Asks Race Director to Hurry It Up With That Age-Group Award, if You Know What They Mean

“I mean, come on,” says woman’s daughter.

Read More
August 09, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Age group awards, Seniors, Marathons, Race director, Inexorable march toward death
January 30, 2023

HARSH! This Runner Got a 10-Year Ban From Competition Just Because No One Likes Him Very Much

January 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
HARSH! This Runner Got a 10-Year Ban From Competition Just Because No One Likes Him Very Much

Officials concede man didn’t break any rules.

Read More
January 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Bans, Race director, Harsh, Likability
January 10, 2022

Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy
Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

Event organizer seeks to reassure public.

Read More
January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Protocols, Race director
June 10, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

Some truths are too dangerous to be uttered aloud.

Read More
June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Virtual race, Marathons, Race director
July 10, 2020

Marine Corps Marathon Organizers Unveil Safety Plan for Grand Piano Plummeting From High Rise

July 10, 2020/ Mark Remy
Marine Corps Marathon Organizers Unveil Safety Plan for Grand Piano Plummeting From High Rise

Afternoon walk is “proceeding as planned,” they say.

Read More
July 10, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marine Corps Marathon, Cancelation, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Marathons, Race director, Cartoon violence, Tiny umbrella
July 03, 2020

Every Running Event in the World Canceled Forever

July 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Every Running Event in the World Canceled Forever

“You know what?” says global group of race directors. “Fuck it.”

Read More
July 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cancelation, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Race director
April 10, 2020

Quarantined Race Director Stays Sharp With Daily Starter Pistol Practice

April 10, 2020/ Mark Remy
Quarantined Race Director Stays Sharp With Daily Starter Pistol Practice

Neighbors seem to love it, local man says.

Read More
April 10, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Race director, Starter pistol, Guns, Coronavirus
October 12, 2019

Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy
Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

Organizers offer Kipchoge free entry in next year’s event.

Read More
October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
INEOS, Marathons, Eliud Kipchoge, Sub-2:00, Race director
October 15, 2018

Race Director Holds Up Severed Head of Bandit as Warning to Others

October 15, 2018/ Mark Remy
Race Director Holds Up Severed Head of Bandit as Warning to Others

Frustration with unregistered runners reaches a boiling point.

Read More
October 15, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bandits, Race director, Entry fees
March 18, 2018

Idiot Race Director Uses Four-Leaf Clover in Shamrock 5K Banner

March 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Idiot Race Director Uses Four-Leaf Clover in Shamrock 5K Banner

Dozens leave event in disgust.

 

Read More
March 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Shamrock, Racing, 5K, Race director
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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  • Support Dumb Runner/
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    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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