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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 21, 2025

Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

Woman appreciates feeble gesture.

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May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Distraction, Smartphone
February 10, 2025

Runner Staring at Phone Collides With Walker Staring at Phone

February 10, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner Staring at Phone Collides With Walker Staring at Phone

Phones fall to ground but are unharmed.

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February 10, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Distraction, Smartphone, Collision
January 22, 2024

SAD! This Senior Runner Was Stuck Like This for Hours, and Nobody Offered to Help

January 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
SAD! This Senior Runner Was Stuck Like This for Hours, and Nobody Offered to Help

Woman’s pleas for help are ignored.

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January 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Seniors, Good Samaritan, Stretching, Distraction
February 22, 2023

Report: Local Runner Has Nothing in Ears

February 22, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Local Runner Has Nothing in Ears

Lack of earbuds leaves onlookers mystified.

Read More
February 22, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Earbuds, Headphones, Distraction, Technology, Awareness
November 09, 2022

Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

Experts say incidents appear to violate basic laws of matter.

Read More
November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Physics
July 20, 2022

Motorist Holds Steering Wheel in One Hand, 6-Ounce Screen Offering Endless Dopamine-Triggering Distractions in the Other

July 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Motorist Holds Steering Wheel in One Hand, 6-Ounce Screen Offering Endless Dopamine-Triggering Distractions in the Other

Behavior is OK, man believes.

Read More
July 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Smartphone, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Distraction
February 23, 2022

New Extreme Race Series Will Challenge Participants to Run Entire 5K Without Phones

February 23, 2022/ Mark Remy
New Extreme Race Series Will Challenge Participants to Run Entire 5K Without Phones

Event adds “diabolical” twist to traditional race distance.

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February 23, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, 5K, Smartphone, Distraction, Extreme
January 13, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

The thoughts are coming from inside your head!

Read More
January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Distraction, Pod
December 08, 2021

‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

Driver fed up with reckless pedestrians.

Read More
December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Get off the road, Motorists, Trucks, Pedestrian safety, Distraction
June 21, 2021

Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

Computer modeling produces images of motorist with eyes ahead, both hands on wheel.

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June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
3D, Motorists, Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Science
April 22, 2020

Pedestrian Careful to Stay 6 Feet From Anyone She Happens to Notice

April 22, 2020/ Mark Remy
Pedestrian Careful to Stay 6 Feet From Anyone She Happens to Notice

“I’m super-conscious of social distancing,” says local woman.

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April 22, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Distraction, Pedestrian safety, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Social distancing
September 23, 2019

New App Will Automatically Detect Pedestrian Collisions, Pay Nominal Fine

September 23, 2019/ Mark Remy
New App Will Automatically Detect Pedestrian Collisions, Pay Nominal Fine

Service will “streamline” process for motorists, victims, and police.

Read More
September 23, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Motorists, Traffic, Distraction, Smartphone
November 13, 2018

11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy
11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

Sports bras are just the beginning.

Read More
November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Football, Distraction, Sports bras, Women's running, Patriarchy, Bullshit
July 24, 2018

Distracted Driver Swerves to Avoid Distracted Walker, Hits Distracted Runner

July 24, 2018/ Mark Remy
Distracted Driver Swerves to Avoid Distracted Walker, Hits Distracted Runner

Texting EMT crashes ambulance en route to accident.

Read More
July 24, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Distraction, Motorists, Safety, Smartphone
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
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    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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