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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 08, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

That driver wasn’t curious at all!

Read More
January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Bird, Get off the road, Anger
January 07, 2026

‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

“Could be worse,” delusional man repeatedly tells self.

Read More
January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Winter, Ice beard, Self deception, Delirium, Delusion, Bad weather
January 05, 2026

Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

Mismatched couple find a way to bridge differences.

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January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Relationships, Fast runners, Slow runners, Couple, Dating, Pace
December 22, 2025

Student Driver Hits Student Runner

December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Student Driver Hits Student Runner

Instructor takes off one point.

Read More
December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Whoops
December 18, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

Putting the “pee” in PR.

Read More
December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, PR, Pee, Diapers, Puns
December 08, 2025

Freezing, Exhausted Runner Told to Go to Dagobah System

December 08, 2025/ Mark Remy
Freezing, Exhausted Runner Told to Go to Dagobah System

Delirious woman makes mental note.

Read More
December 08, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Winter, Snow, Delirium, Star Wars, Obi Wan Kenobi, Dagobah
December 04, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #142: 'Interrogation'

December 04, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #142: 'Interrogation'

Also, he traipsed down some stairs, no problem.

Read More
December 04, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Police, Interrogation, Busted, Recovery
December 03, 2025

‘Nice View,’ Says Asexual Man Running Behind Woman, Referring to Gorgeous Seascape

December 03, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Nice View,’ Says Asexual Man Running Behind Woman, Referring to Gorgeous Seascape

Natural beauty elicits sincere admiration.

Read More
December 03, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nature, Beauty, View, Respect, Gender equity
December 01, 2025

Running Bad for Your Health, Says Sedentary Relative Well on His Way to Second Heart Attack

December 01, 2025/ Mark Remy
Running Bad for Your Health, Says Sedentary Relative Well on His Way to Second Heart Attack

Cousin cites something he saw online, plus “common sense.”

Read More
December 01, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sedentary, Hidden Health Risks, Relatives, Unsolicited advice
November 26, 2025

Report: Canadian Runner Is Sorry

November 26, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Canadian Runner Is Sorry

Apologies offered in broad variety of situations.

Read More
November 26, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Canada, Sorry
November 24, 2025

Local Owl Really Beating Self Up for Thinking Ponytail Was Some Sort of Prey

November 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Owl Really Beating Self Up for Thinking Ponytail Was Some Sort of Prey

In hindsight, bouncing bunch of hair looks nothing like a rodent.

Read More
November 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Ponytail, Owls, Haircut, Predator
November 17, 2025

Emotionally Numb Runner Does 12x400 Track Workout Just to Feel Something

November 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Emotionally Numb Runner Does 12x400 Track Workout Just to Feel Something

Desired effect kicks in almost immediately.

Read More
November 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Track, Emotional collapse, Current events, Masochism
November 12, 2025

Illustration Depicts Magical World Where Drivers Stop at Crosswalks

November 12, 2025/ Mark Remy
Illustration Depicts Magical World Where Drivers Stop at Crosswalks

Inhabitants of fantastical town walk without fear or anxiety.

Read More
November 12, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Crosswalk, Fantasy, Motorists
November 05, 2025

Mom Asks Whether You Remember Judy? From Down the Road? Her Son Is a Big Runner, Too

November 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
Mom Asks Whether You Remember Judy? From Down the Road? Her Son Is a Big Runner, Too

You and person you vaguely recall have something in common.

Read More
November 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Mother, Landline, Judy, Judy's son, Big runner
November 03, 2025

Jogging Couple Are Straight Out of a Prescription Drug Ad, Sources Say

November 03, 2025/ Mark Remy
Jogging Couple Are Straight Out of a Prescription Drug Ad, Sources Say

Happy, active pair won’t let whatever health condition they’re managing slow them down.

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November 03, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Aging, Seniors, Coupl, Active lifestyle, Prescription drugs
October 30, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #140: 'Close'

October 30, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #140: 'Close'

She’s got this!

Read More
October 30, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, PR, Friends
October 22, 2025

Report: Intact Male Being Aggressive With Other Runners in Park

October 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Intact Male Being Aggressive With Other Runners in Park

Local man snaps, snarls, and lashes out.

Read More
October 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Testicles, Testosterone, Aggression, Park, Men
October 16, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #139: 'HR'

October 16, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #139: 'HR'

Don’t freak out!

Read More
October 16, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Doctor's office, Heart rate, Physician
October 06, 2025

Trail Runner Weirded Out by Sign That Mentions Her by Name

October 06, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trail Runner Weirded Out by Sign That Mentions Her by Name

Words of caution give Susan the creeps.

Read More
October 06, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Warning signs, Caution, Susan, Weird
October 01, 2025

Gnat Begins Journey Through Local Runner’s GI Tract

October 01, 2025/ Mark Remy
Gnat Begins Journey Through Local Runner’s GI Tract

Flying insect begins trip in mouth.

Read More
October 01, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Insects, Gnats, Hazards, Digestive tract
  • Next
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  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
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  • SEARCH/

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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