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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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September 26, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

On the OTHER other hand...

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September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Motivation, Vacillation, Rest
August 02, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #110: 'Weekends'

August 02, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #110: 'Weekends'

The math checks out.

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August 02, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Comics, Long runs, Math
August 28, 2023

‘At Least I’m Addicted to Something Healthy,’ Says Runner Whose Running Addiction, Like All Others, By Definition Is Unhealthy

August 28, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘At Least I’m Addicted to Something Healthy,’ Says Runner Whose Running Addiction, Like All Others, By Definition Is Unhealthy

Local woman continues habit despite harmful consequences.

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August 28, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Training, Motivation
Addiction, Exercise, Clinical disorder, Ha ha, Self awareness, Blind spot
December 09, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #70: 'PEZ'

December 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #70: 'PEZ'

Ruh roh!

Read More
December 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Comics, Injuries, PEZ, Spurious logic, Scooby-Doo
January 26, 2022

‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

Local man wonders “who cares.”

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January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, News
Strava, Social media, Statistics
November 09, 2020

No One Sure If Guy Running in Rain Is Tough or Just Dumb

November 09, 2020/ Mark Remy
No One Sure If Guy Running in Rain Is Tough or Just Dumb

Opinions vary among local residents.

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November 09, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Training, Satire
Rain, Bad weather, Dumb, Tough
October 09, 2020

Dumb Runner Illustrated #2: 'Maybe There's an App'

October 09, 2020/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #2: 'Maybe There's an App'

Second in an occasional series.

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October 09, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Comics, Training
September 21, 2020

Toenail Fairy Left ‘2 Whole Dollars,’ Local Runner Announces

September 21, 2020/ Mark Remy
Toenail Fairy Left ‘2 Whole Dollars,’ Local Runner Announces

Man thrilled to find two crisp bills under pillow.

Read More
September 21, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Training
Toenails, Toenail fairy, Money, Childlike wonder
May 20, 2020

Group of 7 Adult Runners Apparently All Live Together, Which Must Be Cool

May 20, 2020/ Mark Remy
Group of 7 Adult Runners Apparently All Live Together, Which Must Be Cool

“What other explanation could there be?” asks witness.

Read More
May 20, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News, Training
Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social distancing, Running club, Group runs, Selfish
July 03, 2019

11 Ways to Make Your Next Run More Patriotic

July 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
11 Ways to Make Your Next Run More Patriotic

Are you, as a runner, patriotic enough? No, you are not.

Read More
July 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
USA, Patriotism, Training, Flag
March 13, 2019

Baby Terrified

March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Baby Terrified

Local infant is immobilized and rocketed through alien landscape.

Read More
March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Baby, Terror, Fear, Stroller, Trail running, Mother
February 03, 2019

Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

Just so you know.

Read More
February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Cold, Weather, Star Wars, Tauntauns, Survival, Opinion
August 01, 2018

Report: Brow-Mopping at 32-Year High

August 01, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Brow-Mopping at 32-Year High

Citing brutal heat, scientists also note spike in holding cold beverages to forehead.

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August 01, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Heat, Brow, Mops
July 11, 2018

Report: Old Lady, Like, Right in the Way

July 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Old Lady, Like, Right in the Way

Octogenarian is in middle of path for no discernible reason.

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July 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Training
Old lady, In the way, Training, Park
January 31, 2018

ISIS Claims Responsibility for U.S. Military Members Being Called 'Joggers'

January 31, 2018/ Mark Remy
ISIS Claims Responsibility for U.S. Military Members Being Called 'Joggers'

Terror group says it will "stop at nothing to degrade and demean American militants who run for sport."

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January 31, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Strava, Military, Jogging, Joggers, ISIS, Youtube
September 26, 2017

Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

For near-octogenarian, injuries and illness take a toll.

Read More
September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Aging, Slow, Training, Couch
July 18, 2017

Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

A father of two aims to lead by example.

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July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Strava, Fitbit, Data, Parenthood, Training
April 26, 2017

5 Stretches You Should Never Do

April 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
5 Stretches You Should Never Do

And what you can do instead.

Read More
April 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Stretching, Never
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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