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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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October 24, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

Save 20% with promo code GURU20!

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October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Wisdom, Consumerism, Happiness
July 19, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #109: 'Lifespan'

July 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #109: 'Lifespan'

Can’t put a price on a PR.

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July 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Running shoes, New Shoes, Consumerism, Running stores, Money
February 09, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #98: 'Shirt'

February 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #98: 'Shirt'

“Fine, I’ll take a medium.”

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February 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Shirt, Environment, Waste, Expo
December 22, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #95: 'Misfits'

December 22, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #95: 'Misfits'

WE’RE ALL MISFITS.

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December 22, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Christmas, Gear, Nostalgia, Misfits, Lost, Jelly
October 12, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

Try changing “iteration” to “version.”

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October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Shoes, Gear, World Record, Marathons, Media, Journalism, Verbs
September 29, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

This is why you make a list.

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September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Gear, New runners, Consumerism, Dammit
June 15, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #83: 'Cheap'

June 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #83: 'Cheap'

He can’t afford not to buy them.

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June 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, New Shoes, Money, Relationships, Cycling
May 15, 2023

Peloton Recalls 300,000 Bikes Due to Risk of Suddenly Breaking Free From Base, Zooming Forward and Crashing Through Wall, Leaving Peloton-Bike-and-Rider-Shaped Hole

May 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Peloton Recalls 300,000 Bikes Due to Risk of Suddenly Breaking Free From Base, Zooming Forward and Crashing Through Wall, Leaving Peloton-Bike-and-Rider-Shaped Hole

At least 14 cases have been reported, company says.

Read More
May 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Peloton, Recall, Wall hole
March 24, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

This watch is garbage.

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March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Comics, Watch, Technology
January 27, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #73: 'Best'

January 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #73: 'Best'

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Read More
January 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, News, Satire
New Shoes, Best, Running stores
June 13, 2022

All Local Runner Wants for Father’s Day Is Handmade Card, Hugs From Kids, and Pair of Nike Air Zoom Alphafly NEXT% Flyknit Ekiden Shoes, Size 10.5

June 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
All Local Runner Wants for Father’s Day Is Handmade Card, Hugs From Kids, and Pair of Nike Air Zoom Alphafly NEXT% Flyknit Ekiden Shoes, Size 10.5

Father of two prefers to “focus on what really matters.”

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June 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Dads, Father's Day, Shoes
April 20, 2022

Boston Marathon Purists Slam Baby for Wearing Onesie He 'Didn't Earn'

April 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Purists Slam Baby for Wearing Onesie He 'Didn't Earn'

Infant’s bodysuit sparks online backlash.

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April 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Baby, Boston Marathon, Stolen valor, Outrage
April 14, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #48: 'Lodging'

April 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #48: 'Lodging'

You can find deals online—but at what cost?

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April 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Comics, New Shoes, Running stores, Online shopping, Emergencies, Hospital
April 08, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #47: 'Ride'

April 08, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #47: 'Ride'

Running the gamut, from “good” to “great.”

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April 08, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Comics, Publishing, Media, New Shoes, Gear
February 11, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #40: Hypnotic

February 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #40: Hypnotic

Define “need.”

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February 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Comics, New Shoes, Money, Hypnosis, Desire
June 29, 2020

Generous Runner Shares His Music With Everyone in 30-Foot Radius

June 29, 2020/ Mark Remy
Generous Runner Shares His Music With Everyone in 30-Foot Radius

Bluetooth speaker enables act of selflessness.

Read More
June 29, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
Running with music, Generosity, Bluetooth
May 03, 2020

Running Store Closures Leave Millions Unable to Get Fitted, Try Shoes on Before Ordering From Zappos

May 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Running Store Closures Leave Millions Unable to Get Fitted, Try Shoes on Before Ordering From Zappos

“It’s such a pain,” says local runner.

Read More
May 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, News, Satire
Running stores, Gear, Shoes, Showrooming
February 03, 2020

Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

“They’re super expensive!” says increasingly frantic world champion.

Read More
February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Nike, Vaporfly, Panic
September 04, 2019

Kipchoge Defends Decision to Use Electric Scooter in Sub-2:00 Marathon Attempt

September 04, 2019/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Defends Decision to Use Electric Scooter in Sub-2:00 Marathon Attempt

Critics are missing the larger point, says Kenyan running legend.

Read More
September 04, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons, Breaking2, Sub-2:00, Scooters
December 23, 2018

Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

Aging relative awaits reaction to Christmas present.

Read More
December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Holidays, Christmas, Aunts, Gifts
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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