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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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September 29, 2025

Bear Attacks Trail Runner in Vicious Facebook Comment

September 29, 2025/ Mark Remy
Bear Attacks Trail Runner in Vicious Facebook Comment

Victim is in serious but stable condition.

Read More
September 29, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bear, Attacks, Social media, Vicious, Trail running
September 24, 2025

RFK Jr. Suggests Link Between Tylenol and Running

September 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
RFK Jr. Suggests Link Between Tylenol and Running

Doctors find statement baffling.

Read More
September 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
RFK Jr., Tylenol, Jogging, Politics, Quack
September 22, 2025

Marathoner Dies of Cardiac Arrest, But in His Sleep, Not During a Marathon, So Actually Not Much of a Story Here

September 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Marathoner Dies of Cardiac Arrest, But in His Sleep, Not During a Marathon, So Actually Not Much of a Story Here

First bit of headline is misleading, as is photo. Sorry.

Read More
September 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Death, Heart attack, Media, Misleading
September 18, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #137: 'Misanthrope'

September 18, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #137: 'Misanthrope'

He’s such a grouch!

Read More
September 18, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Misanthropy, Hell
September 04, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #136: 'Harmonica'

September 04, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #136: 'Harmonica'

[HARMONICA NOISE]

Read More
September 04, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running with music, Comics, Long runs, Harmonica
September 03, 2025

EMTs Unable to Revive Collapsed Runner’s Interest in Marathons

September 03, 2025/ Mark Remy
EMTs Unable to Revive Collapsed Runner’s Interest in Marathons

Local man’s motivation is pronounced dead on the scene.

Read More
September 03, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Motivation, EMTs, DNF
August 25, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Is Organizing a Marathon ‘Not That Much of a Challenge’?

August 25, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Is Organizing a Marathon  ‘Not That Much of a Challenge’?

Some guy in Scotland says so. And he should know—he’s some guy in Scotland!

Read More
August 25, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Marathons, Race director, Armchair, Experts
August 21, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #135: 'PR'

August 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #135: 'PR'

May its memory be a blessing.

Read More
August 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
PR, Marathons, Aging, Grief, Loss, Gary
August 07, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #134: 'Therapy'

August 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #134: 'Therapy'

“Breakthrough,” “BQ” … whatever.

Read More
August 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Therapy, BQ, Anger, Simmering rage
August 06, 2025

Promiscuous Runner Will Do It With Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime

August 06, 2025/ Mark Remy
Promiscuous Runner Will Do It With Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime

Local man can’t remember how many running partners he’s had.

Read More
August 06, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running partner, Slut, Indiscriminate
August 04, 2025

GUEST OPINION: You Can’t Outrun a Bad Diet, Which Is Why I Also Bike

August 04, 2025/ Mark Remy
GUEST OPINION: You Can’t Outrun a Bad Diet, Which Is Why I Also Bike

Thanks to my two-pronged approach, I can eat whatever I want.

Read More
August 04, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, News, Satire
Nutrition, Science, Fast food, Hostess snack cakes
July 30, 2025

Runner, Cyclist Forge Unlikely Alliance to Berate Motorist

July 30, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner, Cyclist Forge Unlikely Alliance to Berate Motorist

Distracted driver unites erstwhile foes.

Read More
July 30, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cycling, Common enemies, Distraction, Motorists, Pedestrian safety
July 24, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #133: 'List'

July 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #133: 'List'

Check, check, check.

Read More
July 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Travel, Destination race, Checklist
July 23, 2025

Local Runner Skips 8-Page ‘Runner’s World’ Article Because Frankly It Seems Like a Real Downer

July 23, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Skips 8-Page ‘Runner’s World’ Article Because Frankly It Seems Like a Real Downer

“Ugh,” says reader.

Read More
July 23, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Runner's World, Downer, Media
July 21, 2025

Badwater Finishers Furious to Learn Course Was 63 Miles Short

July 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Badwater Finishers Furious to Learn Course Was 63 Miles Short

Organizers blame error on volunteer course marshal.

Read More
July 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Course records, Badwater 135, Furor, Mistakes
July 11, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #132: 'Footprints'

July 11, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #132: 'Footprints'

Hey, He’s only human. Or was. Depending on whom you ask.

Read More
July 11, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Footprints, Religion, Jesus, DNF, Comics
July 09, 2025

Holy Shit, Get a Load of This Guy’s Legs, Experts Say

July 09, 2025/ Mark Remy
Holy Shit, Get a Load of This Guy’s Legs, Experts Say

“Wow,” agree academics and scientists.

Read More
July 09, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Holy shit, Legs, Muscles, Experts
July 07, 2025

Cult Members Wear Strange Clothing, Ingest Weird Foods, Endure Painful Rituals

July 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Cult Members Wear Strange Clothing, Ingest Weird Foods, Endure Painful Rituals

Authorities say sect has members worldwide.

Read More
July 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cult, Weird, Pain, Rituals
July 02, 2025

Runner Complaining About Summer Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Winter Weather

July 02, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner Complaining About Summer Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Winter Weather

Local man eager to switch things up.

Read More
July 02, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Summer, Winter, Complaints, Bad weather
June 25, 2025

Report: Great, These Assholes Again

June 25, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Great, These Assholes Again

Local runner wonders what their deal is, anyway.

Read More
June 25, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Track, Assholes, Couple, Etiquette, Annoyance
  • Next
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  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
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  • SEARCH/

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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