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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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November 10, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #3: How to Almost Die Alone in the Wild

November 10, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #3: How to Almost Die Alone in the Wild

Uh-oh.

Read More
November 10, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Trail running, Hubris, Technology
July 11, 2022

Runner Ignores Phone That He Painstakingly Positioned on Ground Just Moments Before

July 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Runner Ignores Phone That He Painstakingly Positioned on Ground Just Moments Before

Photo later appears on social media.

Read More
July 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Phone, Social media, Trail running
February 16, 2022

Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy
Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

Man wordlessly matches pace from six feet behind.

Read More
February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Women's running, Safety, Unwanted attention, Fear
February 14, 2022

Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

Woman questions proposed course of action.

Read More
February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Physician, Hospital, Terminal patient, Death, Dirt
December 13, 2021

Study Finds Trail Running Increases Risk of Beard by 400%

December 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Study Finds Trail Running Increases Risk of Beard by 400%

Hyperactive stoke glands spur growth, researchers say.

Read More
December 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Beards, Facial hair, Research
January 11, 2021

'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy
'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

Local runner seems pleased with initial results.

Read More
January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Hallucinogens, Mushrooms, Altered state
December 24, 2020

Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

Older married couple “barely resisted,” say longtime training partners.

Read More
December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Santa Claus, Elders, Trail running, Theft, Headwear, Pointless cruelty
October 28, 2020

Report: Snake!

October 28, 2020/ Mark Remy
Report: Snake!

Trail runner notices, reacts to reptile.

Read More
October 28, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News
Trail running, Snakes, Herpetology
October 19, 2020

Trail Runner Records Terrifying 6-Minute Encounter With Brand Ambassador

October 19, 2020/ Mark Remy
Trail Runner Records Terrifying 6-Minute Encounter With Brand Ambassador

Man escapes “chilling” wilderness experience.

Read More
October 19, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Terror, Brand ambassador, Nuun, Promo code
September 16, 2020

Local Woman Loves to Run on Trails, Where It’s Just Her, Nature, and the Constant Simmering Rage and Despair That Is Everyone’s New Normal

September 16, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Loves to Run on Trails, Where It’s Just Her, Nature, and the Constant Simmering Rage and Despair That Is Everyone’s New Normal

“It’s my ‘me time,’” says runner.

Read More
September 16, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real
Trail running, Rage, Nature
August 07, 2020

Insecure Bear Wants to Maul Runner But Worries He’ll Screw It Up

August 07, 2020/ Mark Remy
Insecure Bear Wants to Maul Runner But Worries He’ll Screw It Up

As creature dithers, runner vanishes around a bend.

Read More
August 07, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bear, Trail running, Mauling, Insecurity
September 30, 2019

Dog Opts Not to Alert Owner to Dead Body in Brush This Time

September 30, 2019/ Mark Remy
Dog Opts Not to Alert Owner to Dead Body in Brush This Time

Four-year-old canine decides to “let this one slide.”

Read More
September 30, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News
Dogs, Dead body, Trail running, Calculated decisions
March 13, 2019

Baby Terrified

March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Baby Terrified

Local infant is immobilized and rocketed through alien landscape.

Read More
March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Baby, Terror, Fear, Stroller, Trail running, Mother
February 20, 2019

Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy
Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

California man is stable but unresponsive.

Read More
February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stoked, Hospital, Safety, Trail running
February 04, 2018

Runner Whizzing in Middle of Nowhere Apparently Afraid Someone Might See Penis

February 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Runner Whizzing in Middle of Nowhere Apparently Afraid Someone Might See Penis

Despite total isolation, man seeks relief just inches from large bushy tree.

Read More
February 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Urine, Penis, Trail running, Middle of nowhere
November 20, 2017

Report: Someone Else to Pick Up Discarded GU Packet

November 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Report: Someone Else to Pick Up Discarded GU Packet

A string of successive trail users arrive at the same conclusion.

Read More
November 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
GU, Energy gel, Litter, Someone else, Trail running
  • Home/
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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