Local Woman Would Like to Go Jogging Just Once Without Finding a Dead Body
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A local jogger found a dead body Sunday, Dumb Runner has learned, continuing a grim streak of sorts that began the day she first started jogging, roughly six months ago.
Mary Shelley, 31, made the grisly discovery in Wollstonecraft Park around 9 a.m.; police later identified the deceased as Victor Franken, 48, a local man reported missing two weeks ago. It marked the 71st corpse Shelley has seen in her 71 jogs to date.
“Just once, I’d love to head out for an easy three-miler without stumbling across a dead body or human remains in a culvert or whatever,” Shelley said in a phone interview. “I mean, what the hell?”
Foul play is suspected in about one-third of the deaths of those Shelley has discovered. A police spokesperson confirmed to Dumb Runner that Shelley herself is not a suspect in any of those cases.
The spokesperson also said that authorities can’t explain Shelley’s macabre talent for finding bodies, noting that it appears to be “an extremely unfortunate series of coincidences.”
“Actually, I do have a bit of advice (for Shelley),” the spokesperson added. “She might want to give up jogging and try running instead.”
