Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?
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Readers, the topic we’ll be discussing today with our longtime friend and polymath Dr. Dumb is: Ultra running. More specifically, the topic is whether ultra runners should be concerned about hitting their heads a certain number of times (two) and waking up in a certain place (the woods) on a pile of certain objects (sticks).
If you are an ultra runner and this question has never occurred to you, then you have been living in la la land, and not the one featuring Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. You should absolutely be worried about hitting your head twice and waking up in the woods on a pile of sticks. It happened recently to an ultra runner in Florida, as reported in a news item headlined “Missing Runner: I Hit My Head Twice and Woke Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks.”
For your sake, I hope you’ll keep reading.
Dumb Runner: Hello, Dr. Dumb, and thank you for joining us.
Dr. Dumb: Happy to be here.
As you know, today we’re talking about the phenomenon known as “ultra runners hitting their head twice and waking up in the woods on a pile of sticks.”
A terrible and vastly underreported problem, yes.
The impetus for our chat, of course, is that this time, such a case was reported.
Yes! According to a news story, late last year an Oklahoma runner named Earl Blewett went missing in the Ancient Oaks 100-Mile Endurance Run and, after a two-day search, emerged from the woods “in a state of delirium.”
Florida?
Correct. Apparently Mr. Blewett had rolled his ankle, hit his head—twice—and gone off course around 60 miles into the race. At which point he imagined he’d finished, driven back to his hotel, and gone to sleep.
But he had not.
No, he hadn’t. In reality, as he discovered when he awoke the next morning, he had fallen asleep in the woods. In his words, "the bed was just this big pile of sticks."
So, to recap: This ultra runner hit his head twice and woke up in the woods on a pile of sticks.
That is the essence of the story, yes.
The alarming thing is that Mr. Blewett, before calamity struck, had been perfectly happy with his race, right?
Yes. Again, in his own words: “I was very, very happy with how I was running.” Then: “I fell and did a really good face plant. (And) then I walked into a sign.”
Did the sign read, BEWARE OF SIGN?
I like to think so. But that remains unclear.
We should stress at this point that Mr. Blewett, a 57-year-old college professor, was taken to a hospital and apparently will be fine.
Yes, thank goodness!
Still, a troubling story. What steps can ultra runners take to avoid a similar fate?
My advice would be not to run for dozens of consecutive hours.
An intriguing strategy. What if a runner can’t not do that?
In that case, I’d advise not falling and not hitting your head. Or, if you must hit your head, do so only once.
On a related note: How can runners be certain, after they’ve finished an ultra, that they have really finished, and aren’t just imagining it? How can they be sure that they’re driving to their hotel, versus collapsing into a ravine or something? And most important, how can they differentiate between a bed with sheets, blankets, and pillows from a big pile of sticks?
Now you’re getting into metaphysics, which I’m not prepared to discuss.
Because you aren’t qualified?
No, because I’m really, really tired. I’ve been up for 34 hours straight.
Well, doctor, try to get some rest.
Yes. I think I’ll curl up with Eleanor Roosevelt on this gigantic pan of fresh-baked cornbread here in my office.
Thanks again, and take care.
Oh, it’s so warm.
