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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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July 21, 2026

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Can I Avoid Being GORED IN THE FACE?

July 21, 2026/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Can I Avoid Being GORED IN THE FACE?

Steer clear of Spain, for starters.

Read More
July 21, 2026/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Bull, Gore, Dr. Dumb, Face, Threats
December 17, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

Yes. Yes, you “should.”

Read More
December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Pee, Blood, Medical advice, Social media
October 29, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Pause My Runs to Punch Witches?

October 29, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Pause My Runs to Punch Witches?

An easy run? Sure. Tempo run? That’s more complicated.

Read More
October 29, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Halloween, Punching, Witches
June 11, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Really Muscly Kangaroos?

June 11, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Really Muscly Kangaroos?

Yes, and doubly so if you’re near a body of water.

Read More
June 11, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Australia, Kangaroos, Dr. Dumb, Bodies of water
May 07, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

Short answer: Absolutely.

Read More
May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Ostriches, Worry, Anxiety, Threats, Qu'est-ce que c'est?
April 24, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

Very carefully, as it turns out.

Read More
April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Sausage, Dogs, Human behavior
March 20, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Jogging Fill Me With Rage?

March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Jogging Fill Me With Rage?

Answer: SCREW YOU! GET OUTTA HERE!

Read More
March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Simmering rage, Rage, Anger, Research
February 14, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: Is My Finisher Medal a Lethal Weapon?

February 14, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Is My Finisher Medal a Lethal Weapon?

If it looks like this? Maybe!

Read More
February 14, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Medals, Marathons, Lethal Weapon
October 25, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

Great news: No, they can’t!

Read More
October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Honking, Dr. Dumb, Laws
August 30, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About a Snake Falling From the Sky?

August 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About a Snake Falling From the Sky?

The short answer is “yes.” The longer answer is “yesssssssss.”

Read More
August 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News
Dr. Dumb, Sky, Hawk, Snakes, Attacks
April 11, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

Add another animal to the ever-growing list of threats to runners.

Read More
April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Cows, Beef, Attacks, Safety
May 23, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Running Turbocharge My Orgasms?

May 23, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Running Turbocharge My Orgasms?

Answer: Maybe!

Read More
May 23, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Orgasm, Sex, Jogging, Women's running
March 28, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

The organizer of a popular UK running series seems to think so.

Read More
March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Dogs, Parkrun
February 09, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

Short answer? Yes. Slightly longer answer? Absolutely.

Read More
February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Ultras, Injuries, Piles of sticks, Wooded area
May 10, 2021

Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

The good doctor is back, and as helpful as ever.

Read More
May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dr. Dumb, Boston Marathon, BQ
February 06, 2019

Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

A recent news story raises a few questions.

Read More
February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Mountain lion, Cats, News, Dr. Dumb
October 17, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: What Runners Need to Know About Moose

October 17, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: What Runners Need to Know About Moose

“How to stop a charging moose” and other dumb tips from our in-house expert.

Read More
October 17, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Moose
May 30, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Ambien Make Me a Racist Runner?

May 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Ambien Make Me a Racist Runner?

The popular sleeping drug is in the news. Here’s what you need to know.

Read More
May 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Ambien, Racism, Current events, Pharmaceuticals, Side effects, Meds, Dr. Dumb
December 20, 2017

Ask Dr. Dumb: What's the Deal With Ghost Joggers?

December 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: What's the Deal With Ghost Joggers?

Yes, they are a thing, if the Stoke Sentinel is to be believed. (Which it is.)

Read More
December 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News
Ghosts, Jogging, Paranormal, Dr. Dumb
March 08, 2016

Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

A $500,000 "commitment bonus" raises eyebrows. (Not ours, Nike lawyers! Ha ha!)

Read More
March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Nike, Dr. Dumb, Kenya, Bribe
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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