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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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March 30, 2022

Local Runner Would Like to Do Triathlons But Doesn’t Have a Bike and Can't Swim Very Well and Also, If We’re Being Honest, Isn’t Really Much of a Runner

March 30, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Would Like to Do Triathlons But Doesn’t Have a Bike and Can't Swim Very Well and Also, If We’re Being Honest, Isn’t Really Much of a Runner

“How should I put this? He runs once a week—maybe twice—and he barely gets by.”

Read More
March 30, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cycling, Swimming, Triathlon, Slow
March 28, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

The organizer of a popular UK running series seems to think so.

Read More
March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Dogs, Parkrun
March 21, 2022

U.S. Senate Abandons Daylight Saving Plan, Citing Tweet from Guy Who Runs in the Morning

March 21, 2022/ Mark Remy
U.S. Senate Abandons Daylight Saving Plan, Citing Tweet from Guy Who Runs in the Morning

“Sunshine Protection Act” would have made daylight saving time permanent.

Read More
March 21, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Morning run, Twitter, Politics, Daylight Saving Time
March 17, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #45: 'Ho Ho Ho'

March 17, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #45: 'Ho Ho Ho'

The fuel with the mostest.

Read More
March 17, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, News, Satire
Comics, Energy gel, Chia seeds, Ho Hos, Hostess snack cakes, Food
March 16, 2022

Kipchoge Delighted to Learn Olympic Medal Also a Bottle Opener

March 16, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Delighted to Learn Olympic Medal Also a Bottle Opener

Thirsty champion puts award to good use.

Read More
March 16, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Medals, Eliud Kipchoge, Slake, Thirst, Beer
March 11, 2022

Confused by Daylight Saving Time? Use This Chart

March 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Confused by Daylight Saving Time? Use This Chart

Consult it Saturday night and you can't go wrong.

Read More
March 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Clocks, Daylight Saving Time, Chart
March 10, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #44: 'Hey There'

March 10, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #44: 'Hey There'

“I shouldn’t really be here; I have a long run tomorrow morning.”

Read More
March 10, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Pickup lines, Pepper spray, Heart rate
March 09, 2022

To ‘Spice Things Up,’ Barkley Marathons Organizer Adds ‘Predator’-Style Creature That May Hunt and Mutilate Participants, Hang Carcasses From Trees

March 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
To ‘Spice Things Up,’ Barkley Marathons Organizer Adds ‘Predator’-Style Creature That May Hunt and Mutilate Participants, Hang Carcasses From Trees

Famously tough ultra race gets even tougher.

Read More
March 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Predator, Ultr
March 04, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #43: 'Stairs'

March 04, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #43: 'Stairs'

Where they go, you cannot follow.

Read More
March 04, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News
Comics, Marathons, Recovery, Stairs, Pain
February 24, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #42: 'Photos'

February 24, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #42: 'Photos'

“…and this is the best one of the bunch.”

Read More
February 24, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Race photos, Sloth
February 23, 2022

New Extreme Race Series Will Challenge Participants to Run Entire 5K Without Phones

February 23, 2022/ Mark Remy
New Extreme Race Series Will Challenge Participants to Run Entire 5K Without Phones

Event adds “diabolical” twist to traditional race distance.

Read More
February 23, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, 5K, Smartphone, Distraction, Extreme
February 16, 2022

Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy
Thoughtful Stranger Decides to Run Right Behind Woman on Isolated Trail So She’ll Feel Less Alone

Man wordlessly matches pace from six feet behind.

Read More
February 16, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Women's running, Safety, Unwanted attention, Fear
February 14, 2022

Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Trail-Running Physician Advises Terminal Patient to 'Rub Some Dirt on It'

Woman questions proposed course of action.

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February 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Physician, Hospital, Terminal patient, Death, Dirt
February 09, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Ultra Runners Be Worried About Hitting Their Head Twice and Waking Up in the Woods on a Pile of Sticks?

Short answer? Yes. Slightly longer answer? Absolutely.

Read More
February 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Ultras, Injuries, Piles of sticks, Wooded area
February 03, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #39: Breakin'

February 03, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #39: Breakin'

Bring your own cardboard.

Read More
February 03, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Breakdancing, Ridicule, Heart rate
February 02, 2022

Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Down $62 So Far at Claw Machine

Prize proves elusive.

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February 02, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Bib number, Claw Machine, Games of Skill
January 31, 2022

Local Woman Would Like to Go Jogging Just Once Without Finding a Dead Body

January 31, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Would Like to Go Jogging Just Once Without Finding a Dead Body

Longtime jogger dreams of corpse-free outing.

Read More
January 31, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Joggers, Dead body
January 26, 2022

‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘These Wordle Posts Are So Annoying,’ Says Runner About to Tweet His Strava Stats for 100th Time

Local man wonders “who cares.”

Read More
January 26, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, News
Strava, Social media, Statistics
January 20, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

Break time!

Read More
January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Injuries, Medical advice, X-rays, Shoes
January 17, 2022

EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

“Are you a runner?” “I am not.”

Read More
January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Non-Runners, Marathons, Women's running, Live TV
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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