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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 24, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #121: 'Leash'

January 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #121: 'Leash'

He’s harmless.

Read More
January 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Dogs, Etiquette, Taxidermy
April 24, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

Very carefully, as it turns out.

Read More
April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Sausage, Dogs, Human behavior
February 05, 2024

New K-9 Units Will Bring Cheaters Down in Real Time, Marathon Investigation Says

February 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
New K-9 Units Will Bring Cheaters Down in Real Time, Marathon Investigation Says

Dogs are trained to sniff out bandits and course cutters.

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February 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathon Investigator, Justice, Dogs, Cheating, Bite
November 13, 2023

Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

“Like, by a lot,” says source.

Read More
November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race photos, Dogs, Racing, Good boy
August 16, 2023

Farewell to a Very Good Boy

August 16, 2023/ Mark Remy
Farewell to a Very Good Boy

For nearly eight years now, I’ve been publishing goofy stuff on this website. But sometimes, life intrudes.

Read More
August 16, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real
News, Dogs
June 19, 2023

Local Dog Could Not Be Happier With How Today’s Run Went

June 19, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Dog Could Not Be Happier With How Today’s Run Went

Canine “cannot believe her good fortune.”

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June 19, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Happiness, Good boy
January 04, 2023

Sign Makes No Mention of Humans, Desperate Runner Notes

January 04, 2023/ Mark Remy
Sign Makes No Mention of Humans, Desperate Runner Notes

Local man spends 90 mysterious seconds behind bushes.

Read More
January 04, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Poop, Yard signs, Spurious logic
March 28, 2022

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can My Dog Drag Me Along to Faster Race Times?

The organizer of a popular UK running series seems to think so.

Read More
March 28, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Dogs, Parkrun
November 18, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #32: D.P.M.

November 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #32: D.P.M.

Choose your routes wisely.

Read More
November 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Dogs, Data
January 18, 2021

Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

Dark shape “sure looked like a dog to me,” says local man.

Read More
January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Stumps, Freezing lakes, Poor judgment
September 28, 2020

‘OK, That’s Pretty Cute,’ Local Runner Thinks Just Before Impact

September 28, 2020/ Mark Remy
‘OK, That’s Pretty Cute,’ Local Runner Thinks Just Before Impact

Terrier provides moment of levity as man loses consciousness.

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September 28, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Traffic, Accidents
September 30, 2019

Dog Opts Not to Alert Owner to Dead Body in Brush This Time

September 30, 2019/ Mark Remy
Dog Opts Not to Alert Owner to Dead Body in Brush This Time

Four-year-old canine decides to “let this one slide.”

Read More
September 30, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News
Dogs, Dead body, Trail running, Calculated decisions
September 11, 2019

New Program Trains Dogs to Deliver Music to Stranded Runners

September 11, 2019/ Mark Remy
New Program Trains Dogs to Deliver Music to Stranded Runners

Lost or hurt? Can’t live without your tunes? Sit tight—help is on the way.

Read More
September 11, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News
Dogs, Running with music, Emergencies, Lost
September 10, 2018

The 7 Worst Dogs for Runners

September 10, 2018/ Mark Remy
The 7 Worst Dogs for Runners

Like to run? Steer clear of these guys.

Read More
September 10, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Dogs, Worst
January 15, 2018

Dog Clueless About Pace, Heart Rate, Foot Strike

January 15, 2018/ Mark Remy
Dog Clueless About Pace, Heart Rate, Foot Strike

Oblivious creature inspires pity in onlookers.

Read More
January 15, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Pace, Heart rate, Foot strike
June 13, 2017

'He's Friendly,' Owner Assures Runner as Off-Leash Dog Pierces Carotid Artery

June 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
'He's Friendly,' Owner Assures Runner as Off-Leash Dog Pierces Carotid Artery

"The greater tragedy would have been seeing him restrained by a leash," victim says.

Read More
June 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Carotid artery, Safety
January 18, 2017

Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

Missing data paints a damning picture, a website says.

Read More
January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Racing, Cheating
January 06, 2016

Watch a Kenyan Trip Over a Dog in Japan

January 06, 2016/ Mark Remy
Watch a Kenyan Trip Over a Dog in Japan

As is so often the case, this story raises more questions than it answers.

Read More
January 06, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Ekiden, Dogs, Japan, Simpsons
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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