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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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November 20, 2024

EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

Netflix, Runner’s World team up to present test of strength vs. endurance.

Read More
November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Jake Paul, Boxing, Sponsorships, Runner's World, Netflix, Slaughter
July 31, 2024

Anxious Kipchoge Googles ‘How to Say Which Way to Marathon Start in French’

July 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Anxious Kipchoge Googles ‘How to Say Which Way to Marathon Start in French’

Online search just one of several for Paris-bound runner.

Read More
July 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Eliud Kipchoge, Google, France, Marathons
May 06, 2024

‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

Marathon legend is clearly happy with chiseled physique.

Read More
May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eliud Kipchoge, Runner's World, Muscles, Totally jacked, Media
September 25, 2023

Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

Repeated calls to front desk fail to stop noise.

Read More
September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Berlin Marathon, Hotel room, Party, Rude
April 18, 2023

Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

Legendary marathoner can’t catch a break.

Read More
April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Vacation rental, Locks, Irritants
December 05, 2022

Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

Unusual move “will save everyone time and energy,” organizers say.

Read More
December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Boston Marathon, Fait accompli
September 25, 2022

Cocky Kipchoge Pauses Halfway Through Berlin Marathon for Haircut

September 25, 2022/ Mark Remy
Cocky Kipchoge Pauses Halfway Through Berlin Marathon for Haircut

Defending champ skips shampoo and rinse.

Read More
September 25, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Berlin Marathon, Haircut, Eliud Kipchoge, Tortoise, Hare
March 16, 2022

Kipchoge Delighted to Learn Olympic Medal Also a Bottle Opener

March 16, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Delighted to Learn Olympic Medal Also a Bottle Opener

Thirsty champion puts award to good use.

Read More
March 16, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Medals, Eliud Kipchoge, Slake, Thirst, Beer
May 13, 2020

Out-of-Shape Kipchoge Balloons to 122 Pounds

May 13, 2020/ Mark Remy
Out-of-Shape Kipchoge Balloons to 122 Pounds

Marathon world record holder has “really let himself go,” sources say.

Read More
May 13, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eliud Kipchoge, Weight, Fitness
April 23, 2020

Nike Denies Kipchoge’s Request to Work From Home

April 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
Nike Denies Kipchoge’s Request to Work From Home

World champion marathoner not sure why he still has to go to office every day.

Read More
April 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Working from home, Office, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Nike, Eliud Kipchoge
February 03, 2020

Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

“They’re super expensive!” says increasingly frantic world champion.

Read More
February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Nike, Vaporfly, Panic
October 16, 2019

Kipchoge Debates Buying Race Photos vs. Just Sharing Watermarked Versions

October 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Debates Buying Race Photos vs. Just Sharing Watermarked Versions

Days after historic sub-2:00 performance, world champion weighs expenditure.

Read More
October 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
INEOS, Sub-2:00, Eliud Kipchoge, MarathonFoto, Race photos
October 13, 2019

After 1:59 Marathon, Sales Skyrocket for Whatever It Is That INEOS Sells

October 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
After 1:59 Marathon, Sales Skyrocket for Whatever It Is That INEOS Sells

Title sponsorship of 1:59 marathon event yields immediate dividends.

Read More
October 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
INEOS, Marathons, Sub-2:00, Eliud Kipchoge, Marketing
October 12, 2019

Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy
Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

Organizers offer Kipchoge free entry in next year’s event.

Read More
October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
INEOS, Marathons, Eliud Kipchoge, Sub-2:00, Race director
September 04, 2019

Kipchoge Defends Decision to Use Electric Scooter in Sub-2:00 Marathon Attempt

September 04, 2019/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Defends Decision to Use Electric Scooter in Sub-2:00 Marathon Attempt

Critics are missing the larger point, says Kenyan running legend.

Read More
September 04, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons, Breaking2, Sub-2:00, Scooters
April 28, 2019

Farah Regrets Running London Marathon With Hand Weights

April 28, 2019/ Mark Remy
Farah Regrets Running London Marathon With Hand Weights

Fifth-place finisher calls decision ”foolish” in hindsight.

Read More
April 28, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
London Marathon, Mo Farah, Hand weights, Regret, Racing, Eliud Kipchoge
September 23, 2018

Kipchoge Still Waiting for Age-Group Award from Berlin Marathon

September 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Still Waiting for Age-Group Award from Berlin Marathon

Trip to mailbox leads to disappointment—again.

Read More
September 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Berlin Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Age group awards
September 16, 2018

If Kipchoge Had Run Just a Little Faster Each Mile He Could Have Broken 2 Hours, Says Guy You Work With

September 16, 2018/ Mark Remy
If Kipchoge Had Run Just a Little Faster Each Mile He Could Have Broken 2 Hours, Says Guy You Work With

Non-runner shares thoughts on Sunday’s 2:01:39 win at the Berlin Marathon.

Read More
September 16, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons, Breaking2, Guy you work with
May 06, 2017

5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

At Saturday's Breaking2 attempt, a series of rookie mistakes add up.

Read More
May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons
  • Home/
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
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  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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