Local Runner Would Like to Do Triathlons But Doesn’t Have a Bike and Can't Swim Very Well and Also, If We’re Being Honest, Isn’t Really Much of a Runner
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A local runner would like to do a triathlon someday, Dumb Runner has learned, except that he doesn’t own a bicycle and can’t swim very well. In addition, sources said, he isn’t really much of a runner, either.
The man, Alex Euclid, has been running off and on for about three years, according to multiple people close to him, and by every metric, they said, his performance is “mediocre, at best.”
“Alex is a great guy, don’t get me wrong,” said one source. “Warm, smart, funny, would do anything for you.”
“But as a runner?” the source added. “How should I put this? He runs once a week—maybe twice—and he barely gets by.”
Another source described Euclid similarly as “a wonderful human” but “not exactly what you would call a strong runner in any meaningful sense of the word.”
That assessment seems lost on Euclid, who as recently as yesterday maintained that he could do well in at least one leg of a triathlon.
“I would love to try (a triathlon),” Euclid told a colleague who recently finished a Half Ironman. “But I’m not a very strong swimmer.”
Euclid clarified that he can “swim a little, but not, like, the kind of serious swimming you do in a triathlon.”
He then added that he doesn’t have a bike of any kind, adding with a laugh that apart from those two strikes against him he could easily do a triathlon.
“At least I could nail the running part,” Euclid concluded.
