Man Can't Remember Last Time Wife Initiated a Run
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For First Time Ever, NYC Marathon Is Double-Canceled
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“It is not a decision that we took lightly,” say organizers.
Read MoreNumber of Running Podcasts Surpasses Number of Actual Runners
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Trend shows no signs of slowing, says industry group.
Read MoreMotorist Furious With Runner Crossing Street, in Crosswalk, With WALK Sign
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Driver cannot believe crap she has to deal with.
Read MoreWith Local Marathon Canceled, Residents Scramble to Find Something Else to Bitch About This Fall
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Couple seek some other outlet for resentment and anger.
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Insecure Bear Wants to Maul Runner But Worries He’ll Screw It Up
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As creature dithers, runner vanishes around a bend.
Read MoreLocal Runner Unnerved to Get 'Official Race Photos' 1 Week After Virtual Marathon
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Email includes shots from six locations, including man’s home.
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon Cancelation Shocks Local Imbecile
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Mouth-breathing runner “didn’t see this coming.”
Read MoreAdults-Only Phone Line Promises Runners ‘Hot Marathon Action’ at $1.99 Per Minute
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1-900-CORRAL-ME staffed by out-of-work race directors “waiting for your call.”
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon 'Proceeding as Planned,' Says Race Director From Remote Jungle Compound
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“Are my methods unsound?” Kurtz wonders aloud.
Read MoreFlorida Governor Offers to Host Chicago Marathon
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Sunshine State is “the perfect place” for recently canceled event, says a coughing DeSantis.
Read MoreText Exchange With Running Buddy Almost Entirely About Pooping
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Bowel movement plays central role in pre-run conversation.
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon Organizers Unveil Safety Plan for Grand Piano Plummeting From High Rise
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Afternoon walk is “proceeding as planned,” they say.
Read MoreVirtual Race Expo Gives Local Runner Chance to Navigate Dense Virtual Crowd to Purchase Official $18 Shot Glass
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“Wow,” says man from living room. “It’s like I’m there.”
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon ‘Proceeding as Planned’ as Asteroid Casts Shadow Over Entire Eastern Seaboard
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Organizers “implementing safety measures” for October event.
Read MoreEvery Running Event in the World Canceled Forever
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“You know what?” says global group of race directors. “Fuck it.”
Read MoreCouple Still Laughing Over Guy Who Screamed ‘Run, Forrest!’ at Them
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Bystander’s wisecrack provides endless amusement.
Read MoreGenerous Runner Shares His Music With Everyone in 30-Foot Radius
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Bluetooth speaker enables act of selflessness.
Read More'Let's See Where This Goes,' Says Chicago Marathon Director From Parallel Universe He's Been Living in Since Mid-February
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