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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 28, 2025

New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy
New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

“Really Red” traffic light may be next, officials say.

Read More
April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Stop signs, Motorists
January 21, 2025

Nation’s Automakers Running Out of Ways to Make Trucks More Deadly

January 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Nation’s Automakers Running Out of Ways to Make Trucks More Deadly

Today’s vehicles “about as dangerous as they can get,” says frustrated exec.

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January 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Trucks, SUVs, Marketing, Death
January 06, 2025

‘Safety Is a Shared Responsibility,’ Says Traffic Officer Whose Tips Are Aimed 100% at Pedestrians and Cyclists

January 06, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Safety Is a Shared Responsibility,’ Says Traffic Officer Whose Tips Are Aimed 100% at Pedestrians and Cyclists

Advice completely ignores role of people operating huge, powerful machines.

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January 06, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Police, Traffic, Motorists, Media
July 08, 2024

Man Who Routinely Runs Distances Up to 20 Miles Spends 4 Minutes in Parking Lot Trying to Find Spot Closest to Store Entrance

July 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
Man Who Routinely Runs Distances Up to 20 Miles Spends 4 Minutes in Parking Lot Trying to Find Spot Closest to Store Entrance

Highly trained athlete avoids two minutes of walking.

Read More
July 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Lazy, Distance, Parking lots
June 05, 2024

Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

“What the hell?” man asks.

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June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Road closures, Motorists, Anger, Vintage biplane
June 03, 2024

Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

Devastating retort materializes 16 hours after encounter.

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June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Anger, Retorts, Heckling, Harrassment, Insomnia
January 12, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #96: 'Nowhere'

January 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #96: 'Nowhere'

Next time, try one more blinky light.

Read More
January 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Pedestrian safety, Motorists
October 25, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

Great news: No, they can’t!

Read More
October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Honking, Dr. Dumb, Laws
August 18, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #88: 'Chill'

August 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #88: 'Chill'

Less profanity, for one thing.

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August 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Rage, Motorists, Meditation, Chill, Zen
July 24, 2023

Eco-Conscious Runner Doubly Hurt When Hit By Driver of Gas-Powered Vehicle

July 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Eco-Conscious Runner Doubly Hurt When Hit By Driver of Gas-Powered Vehicle

Planet-destroying truck nearly destroys planet-loving man.

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July 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Fossil fuels, Environment, Injuries
July 03, 2023

‘Joggers Should Wear Bright Clothing,’ Tweets Driver

July 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Joggers Should Wear Bright Clothing,’ Tweets Driver

Local man shares thoughts at 45 mph.

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July 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Twitter, Smartphone
March 09, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

Statistics are a love language, too.

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March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Traffic, Death, Love
November 09, 2022

Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

Experts say incidents appear to violate basic laws of matter.

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November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Physics
September 30, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #64: 'Play'

September 30, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #64: 'Play'

“MAKE-BELIEVE STREETS ARE MADE FOR TOY CARS!”

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September 30, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Children, Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Parenthood, Rage
September 21, 2022

Driver Who Broke Runner’s Spine in Three Places Praised for Waiting Around Until Help Arrived

September 21, 2022/ Mark Remy
Driver Who Broke Runner’s Spine in Three Places Praised for Waiting Around Until Help Arrived

Police, local reporters applaud motorist for “remaining on the scene.”

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September 21, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Praise, Media, Police
August 01, 2022

Motorist Experiences Minor Inconvenience

August 01, 2022/ Mark Remy
Motorist Experiences Minor Inconvenience

Encounter with local runner impedes driver’s progress for up to four seconds.

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August 01, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Minor inconvenience, Rage, Screaming
July 20, 2022

Motorist Holds Steering Wheel in One Hand, 6-Ounce Screen Offering Endless Dopamine-Triggering Distractions in the Other

July 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Motorist Holds Steering Wheel in One Hand, 6-Ounce Screen Offering Endless Dopamine-Triggering Distractions in the Other

Behavior is OK, man believes.

Read More
July 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Smartphone, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Distraction
April 06, 2022

Trip Odometer Just Hit 26.2 Miles, Local Runner Reports From Driver's Seat

April 06, 2022/ Mark Remy
Trip Odometer Just Hit 26.2 Miles, Local Runner Reports From Driver's Seat

“I’ve run this far,” man says.

Read More
April 06, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Motorists, Mileage, 26.2, Odometer
December 08, 2021

‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

Driver fed up with reckless pedestrians.

Read More
December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Get off the road, Motorists, Trucks, Pedestrian safety, Distraction
October 08, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #28: 'Reflection'

October 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #28: 'Reflection'

“Seriously?”

Read More
October 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Safety, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Traffic
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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