Marine Corps Marathon Cancelation Shocks Local Imbecile
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A local imbecile was stunned by news that this year’s Marine Corps Marathon was canceled, Dumb Runner has learned.
“Wow,” said Todd Rundgren, 33, a self-described avid runner and lifelong moron. “Why?”
“I did not see this coming,” he added.
Organizers made the announcement yesterday, writing on the event’s website:
All events for the 2020 Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) Weekend scheduled for Friday, October 23 through Sunday, October 25 in Arlington, Virginia and the nation’s capital will shift to virtual-only status, due to ongoing public health concerns and the guidelines of local governments.
The news came after nearly every other major U.S. race for 2020 had been canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic, including the Air Force Marathon, Chicago Marathon, Big Sur Marathon, BOLDERBoulder, Boston Marathon, Cherry Blossom Ten Mile, Pittsburgh Marathon, Eugene Marathon, Flying Pig Marathon, GO! St. Louis Marathon, Grandma's Marathon, Missoula Marathon, NYC Half, NYC Marathon, Cleveland Marathon, Rock 'n' Roll Atlantic City Half, Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half, Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon and Half, Rock 'n' Roll San Francisco Half, Rock 'n' Roll Washington D.C. Marathon and Half, Shamrock Run Portland, TD Beach to Beaon, Twin Cities Marathon, and Yuengling Shamrock Marathon.
Until yesterday’s announcement, the Marine Corps Marathon website declared that the October race was “proceeding as planned,” despite widespread certainty that cancelation was inevitable.
“This just came out of nowhere,” Rundgren said, shaking his head. “What a bummer. Especially considering that this whole COVID thing is a hoax.”
