'Let's See Where This Goes,' Says Chicago Marathon Director From Parallel Universe He's Been Living in Since Mid-February
/
The fate of this fall’s Bank of America Chicago Marathon remains up in the air, even as countless other road races announce cancelations due to the coronavirus.
“We continue to carefully monitor news of the novel coronavirus, and how it might affect this fall’s race,” said Chicago Marathon Race Director John Kander in a message sent from the parallel universe he’s been inhabiting since mid-February. “And we are continuing our preparations for the event with the goal of providing a safe race weekend experience.”
“The virus is concerning,” said Kander, “but so far it looks like it’s not a super big deal.”
“Let’s see where this goes,” he added.
It is unclear how Kander became trapped in the alternate reality, but friends said he’s been stuck there since around Valentine’s Day. Sources said the world Kander inhabits is exactly like our own, except that in Kander’s world, the coronavirus remains an isolated, exotic phenomenon.
Also, the sources said, in Kander’s universe, mice are called “rat juniors” and IPAs never became trendy.
This week alone, in the real world, organizers of the New York City Marathon , Berlin Marathon, and Twin Cities Marathon said they would not have live events this fall. Those announcements were only the latest in a long string of similar cancelations as new cases of COVID-19 surge and many states that reopened early are scrambling to contain a second wave of the illness.
The 2020 Chicago Marathon is scheduled for October 11.
“I’m optimistic,” said Kander from his own warped version of reality. “Apparently this thing is basically the flu, and it looks like it’s not spreading much.”
“Happy training!”
