Every Running Event in the World Canceled Forever
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Every race in the world is canceled, a global group of event organizers abruptly announced today—not just this year, but forever.
“You know what?” said Hugh Beaumont, president of the Worldwide Association of Race Directors in a statement. “Fuck it. We’re tired of this. No races anymore, anywhere, ever.”
The move comes after a flurry of postponements and cancelations from dozens of marathons and other large running events, due to the coronavirus pandemic. News of such decisions has come in dribs and drabs over months, often after prolonged uncertainty and public hemming and hawing.
The resulting anxiety and exasperation apparently is what prompted WARD’s unexpected and profanity-laced announcement, which read, in part:
The past several months have been very difficult, for obvious reasons. We have enough to worry about without this constant confusion and anxiety over which races are postponed, which are canceled, which might be canceled, when they’ll be rescheduled, and on and on, ad nauseam.
Enough with that bullshit.
Effective immediately, WARD is taking the unprecedented step of declaring all races everywhere canceled, now and for all eternity. This means every race of any distance and any type. All of them.
There. Happy?
Now, finally, maybe we can stop talking about cancelations.
I mean, Christ.
The statement ended on a chipper note, urging runners to “Stay well, and keep running!”
Reached for comment, Beaumont said that WARD’s statement speaks for itself. Asked whether the group still plans to hold its annual global meeting, scheduled for October, he said it, too, was canceled forever.
Beaumont then canceled the interview.
Follow-up calls were unsuccessful.
