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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 18, 2023

Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

Legendary marathoner can’t catch a break.

Read More
April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Vacation rental, Locks, Irritants
April 16, 2023

BREAKING: Kipchoge Leads Boston Police on High-Speed Chase in Stolen Duck Tours Vehicle

April 16, 2023/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Kipchoge Leads Boston Police on High-Speed Chase in Stolen Duck Tours Vehicle

Erratic act appears to be “crime of opportunity.”

Read More
April 16, 2023/ Mark Remy/
April 12, 2023

Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

Side effects are limited to mild confusion and drooling, statement says.

Read More
April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unicorns, Boston Marathon, B.A.A., Horse, Animal cruelty, Online firestorm
April 11, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

Add another animal to the ever-growing list of threats to runners.

Read More
April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Cows, Beef, Attacks, Safety
April 06, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

Now who’s laughing?

Read More
April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Bear, Jokes, Mauling
April 05, 2023

No One Gets Old Runner’s ‘SNL’ References

April 05, 2023/ Mark Remy
No One Gets Old Runner’s ‘SNL’ References

Fifty-something man’s comments puzzle younger club members.

Read More
April 05, 2023/ Mark Remy/
April 03, 2023

Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

Husband also regrets mentioning use of carbon-plated shoes.

Read More
April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Couple, Boston Marathon, BQ, Tact
March 24, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

This watch is garbage.

Read More
March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Comics, Watch, Technology
March 23, 2023

Rookie Podiatrist Throws Up at First Look at Marathoner’s Feet

March 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
Rookie Podiatrist Throws Up at First Look at Marathoner’s Feet

“You see photos in textbooks,” says man, “but it’s not the same.”

Read More
March 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Podiatry, Feet, Marathons, Terror, Nausea
March 20, 2023

Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Tracking Device in Marathon Bib Number

March 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Tracking Device in Marathon Bib Number

“They’re watching you literally every step of the way,” man says.

Read More
March 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bib number, Conspiracy theories, Marat, Surveillance state, Paranoia
March 17, 2023

Local Runner Breaks Stroller Record at Barkley Marathons

March 17, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Breaks Stroller Record at Barkley Marathons

Baby daughter “slept through a lot of it,” man says.

Read More
March 17, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Stroller, Course records, Parenthood
March 15, 2023

Speaker Using Marathon Metaphor Has Clearly Never Run a Marathon

March 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Speaker Using Marathon Metaphor Has Clearly Never Run a Marathon

Man betrays ignorance to large audience.

Read More
March 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Public speaking, Marathons, Metaphors
March 09, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

Statistics are a love language, too.

Read More
March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Traffic, Death, Love
March 08, 2023

Shirley Jackson Marathon Announces Lottery ‘Winners’

March 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
Shirley Jackson Marathon Announces Lottery ‘Winners’

Race director flooded with desperate protests.

Read More
March 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
References, Lott, Marathons, Death, Shirley Jackson, Stones
February 24, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #75: 'Anthem'

February 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #75: 'Anthem'

Shit!

Read More
February 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Porta potty, Racing, Starter pistol, Dreams, Anxiety
February 22, 2023

Report: Local Runner Has Nothing in Ears

February 22, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Local Runner Has Nothing in Ears

Lack of earbuds leaves onlookers mystified.

Read More
February 22, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Earbuds, Headphones, Distraction, Technology, Awareness
February 16, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #74: 'Travel'

February 16, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #74: 'Travel'

What gave it away?

Read More
February 16, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Air travel, Marathons, Small Talk, Gear
February 08, 2023

First Comment on Article About Trans Athletes Exactly What Local Runner Expected

February 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
First Comment on Article About Trans Athletes Exactly What Local Runner Expected

“Oh my God,” woman says. “Ugh.”

Read More
February 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Comments, Facebook, Ugh, Transgender athletes, Bigotry
January 30, 2023

HARSH! This Runner Got a 10-Year Ban From Competition Just Because No One Likes Him Very Much

January 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
HARSH! This Runner Got a 10-Year Ban From Competition Just Because No One Likes Him Very Much

Officials concede man didn’t break any rules.

Read More
January 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Bans, Race director, Harsh, Likability
January 27, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #73: 'Best'

January 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #73: 'Best'

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Read More
January 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, News, Satire
New Shoes, Best, Running stores
  • Previous
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  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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