Speaker Using Marathon Metaphor Has Clearly Never Run a Marathon
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A speaker who invoked marathon running during a recent presentation has obviously never actually run a marathon, Dumb Runner has learned—a revelation that became clearer the longer he spoke.
“Folks, achieving your financial goals is a marathon, not a sprint,” Matthew Foley, a 38-year-old financial consultant, told an audience at a local seminar Monday afternoon. “You have to train for decades—and you’ve gotta go as hard as you possibly can, for as long as you possibly can, every single day to prepare for it.”
Foley paused to sip from a bottle of water.
“Plus,” he said, apparently ad libbing, “you have to drink as much water as possible, like at least a gallon every mile. That’s important.”
The marathon, he stressed, isn’t a race that will be over “in a matter of minutes, like a 100-yard dash.”
“No, a marathon might take you a full hour,” he said. “When you’re running 25 miles, that’s a test of endurance.”
“But hey,” he added, glancing out the window, “at least the weather today is perfect for a marathon! Am I right?”
The weather at the time was 77 degrees and sunny.
At last report, Foley was urging audience members to stand and join him in yanking their legs good and hard behind their backs.
