Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Tracking Device in Marathon Bib Number

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The bib numbers used to identify participants in marathons and other running events contain sophisticated tracking devices, a local man announced today via the encrypted messaging app Telegram.

“Well surprise surprise,” wrote Edward "Brill" Lyle in a message to various followers. “Turns out thousands (millions?) are out there voluntarily wearing digital trackers, in the name of ‘health and fitness.’”

“The surveillance state marches on,” he added.

Lyle, who often posts under the name Liberty4All1776 and is known for sharing conspiracy theories and anti-government rants, went on to describe how he made his discovery.

“I have a friend who runs marathons,” he said. “The other day, he was showing me his collection of race numbers, he called them ‘bibs,’ those things the runners pin onto their shirts.”

Intrigued, Lyle borrowed one to take home for closer inspection.

“I brought it to my lab—never mind where it’s located—and really put it under a microscope,” he said. “Sure as shit, there’s a tracker embedded in there.”

“It’s bad enough they’re reducing you to a faceless number, but on top of that they are watching exactly where you go, and when, and even how fast you get there.”

“RUNNERS,” he wrote, “THEY ARE WATCHING YOU LITERALLY EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.”

At that point in his message, Lyle launched a discursive 643-word jeremiad on politics, freedom, privacy, cryptocurrency, “big data,” Marxism, and multiple federal agencies.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” he concluded. “Open your eyes, people!”

At last report, Lyle’s marathon-running friend was debating whether to tell him about Strava.