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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 20, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #38: Cushy

Break time!

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January 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Injuries, Medical advice, X-rays, Shoes
January 17, 2022

EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Full Transcript of Non-Runners' Houston Marathon Commentary

“Are you a runner?” “I am not.”

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January 17, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Non-Runners, Marathons, Women's running, Live TV
January 13, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #37: Boredom

The thoughts are coming from inside your head!

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January 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Distraction, Pod
January 12, 2022

2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy
2022 Boston Marathon Will Have ‘Best Women’s Field We’ve Ever Ignored,’ Say Network Broadcasters

Elite women “sure to provide plenty of thrills, almost all of which we will miss.”

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January 12, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Live TV, Boston Marathon, Women's running, Gender equity, Broadcasting
January 10, 2022

Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy
Amid COVID Surge, Race Director Taking ‘Every Possible Precaution’ to Protect Health and Safety of Profits

Event organizer seeks to reassure public.

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January 10, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Protocols, Race director
January 06, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #36: Only

January 06, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #36: Only

“Also, it was TOTALLY slow. Like, 7:30 pace.”

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January 06, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Distance, Beginners, Motivation, Mileage
January 03, 2022

Local Runner’s 2022 Resolutions Include Signing Up For Marathon, Training for Marathon, Making Travel Arrangements for Marathon, Doing Virtual Race, Alone, When Marathon Gets Canceled

January 03, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner’s 2022 Resolutions Include Signing Up For Marathon, Training for Marathon, Making Travel Arrangements for Marathon, Doing Virtual Race, Alone, When Marathon Gets Canceled

“I got this,” says woman.

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January 03, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Virtual race, Goals
December 23, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #35: Wonderful

December 23, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #35: Wonderful

Every time a bell rings, a medical specialist gets a copay.

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December 23, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Holidays, Angels, Clarence, Orthopedics, Injuries
December 20, 2021

Podcast Engrossing

December 20, 2021/ Mark Remy
Podcast Engrossing

Runner fascinated by episode on importance of situational awareness.

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December 20, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Awareness, Podcasts, Headphones, Fire
December 15, 2021

Guy Who Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed for 6 a.m. Run But Did It Anyway Named Time Person of the Year

December 15, 2021/ Mark Remy
Guy Who Didn’t Want to Get Out of Bed for 6 a.m. Run But Did It Anyway Named Time Person of the Year

Magazine “breaks the mold” with surprising choice.

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December 15, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Morning run, Person of the Year, Time magazine, Media
December 13, 2021

Study Finds Trail Running Increases Risk of Beard by 400%

December 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Study Finds Trail Running Increases Risk of Beard by 400%

Hyperactive stoke glands spur growth, researchers say.

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December 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Beards, Facial hair, Research
December 09, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #34: References

December 09, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #34: References

Does this have something to do with the fake mustache?

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December 09, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Running stores, References, Alberto Salazar, Nike, Oregon Project
December 08, 2021

‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center

Driver fed up with reckless pedestrians.

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December 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Get off the road, Motorists, Trucks, Pedestrian safety, Distraction
December 02, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #33: Super

December 02, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #33: Super

Take it easy, there, folks.

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December 02, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Super Runner Lady, Flight, Easy, Pace
December 01, 2021

Injured Runner Wondering Whether Cone Really Necessary

December 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Injured Runner Wondering Whether Cone Really Necessary

Local woman inspires pity.

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December 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Injuries, Cone, Humiliation, Pity, Recovery
November 29, 2021

Local Runner Skips Track Workout, Citing Global Supply Chain Issues

November 29, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Skips Track Workout, Citing Global Supply Chain Issues

Worldwide slowdown in the production and distribution of goods thwarts man’s plans.

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November 29, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Lazy, Excuses, Global Supply Chain
November 22, 2021

Confused Runner Shows Up at Toyotathon

November 22, 2021/ Mark Remy
Confused Runner Shows Up at Toyotathon

Local man expects foot race, instead finds year’s hottest deals.

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November 22, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Confusion, Suffixes, Year's hottest deals
November 18, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #32: D.P.M.

November 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #32: D.P.M.

Choose your routes wisely.

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November 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Dogs, Data
November 13, 2021

Duck Annoys Friends With Endless Talk About Running NYC Marathon

November 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Duck Annoys Friends With Endless Talk About Running NYC Marathon

Waterfowl from viral video alienates entire barnyard.

Read More
November 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Duck, New York City Marathon, Marathons, Talk, Shut up, Quack
November 10, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #31: Next

November 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #31: Next

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Read More
November 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Marathons, Agony, Poop
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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