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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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December 09, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #34: References

December 09, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #34: References

Does this have something to do with the fake mustache?

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December 09, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Running stores, References, Alberto Salazar, Nike, Oregon Project
August 31, 2020

Nike Manager Makes ‘Nike Zoom’ Joke for 20th Consecutive Zoom Meeting

August 31, 2020/ Mark Remy
Nike Manager Makes ‘Nike Zoom’ Joke for 20th Consecutive Zoom Meeting

Time-worn wisecrack met with polite smiles.

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August 31, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Real
Group runs, Awkward video, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Nike, Zoom
April 23, 2020

Nike Denies Kipchoge’s Request to Work From Home

April 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
Nike Denies Kipchoge’s Request to Work From Home

World champion marathoner not sure why he still has to go to office every day.

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April 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Working from home, Office, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Nike, Eliud Kipchoge
February 03, 2020

Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys

“They’re super expensive!” says increasingly frantic world champion.

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February 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Nike, Vaporfly, Panic
November 11, 2019

Nike Publicist Prepares for Another Awesome Week at Work

November 11, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nike Publicist Prepares for Another Awesome Week at Work

At sports gear giant’s global headquarters, assistant VP ready to face the day.

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November 11, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nike, News, Public relations, Crisis management
October 03, 2019

‘He Won’t Get Far Without This,’ Oregon Project Lab Tech Says After Subject Escapes

October 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
‘He Won’t Get Far Without This,’ Oregon Project Lab Tech Says After Subject Escapes

“I want him alive,” Nike scientist tells security staff.

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October 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Oregon Project, Nike, Alberto Salazar, Escape
October 02, 2019

Nike Oregon Project Introduces New Coach

October 02, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nike Oregon Project Introduces New Coach

With Salazar’s future in question, a fresh face emerges.

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October 02, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Alberto Salazar, Umberto Santiago, Nike, Oregon Project, Doping
October 01, 2019

Rupp Already Regretting Week-Old Tattoo

October 01, 2019/ Mark Remy
Rupp Already Regretting Week-Old Tattoo

“I knew I should have gone with the Celtic cross,” says Nike runner.

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October 01, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Alberto Salazar, Galen Rupp, Tattoos, Regret, Nike, Doping
May 25, 2019

Impish Nike Rep Appears in Hospital Room, Demands Sponsored Runner's Newborn

May 25, 2019/ Mark Remy
Impish Nike Rep Appears in Hospital Room, Demands Sponsored Runner's Newborn

“Have you forgotten our arrangement?” asks strange little man.

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May 25, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nike, Faustian bargain, Imp, Gender equity, Fairytales
September 24, 2017

New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy
New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

News shines a spotlight on company plagued by publicity and attention.

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September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Books, Marketing, PR
May 06, 2017

5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

At Saturday's Breaking2 attempt, a series of rookie mistakes add up.

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May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons
May 04, 2017

BREAKING: Nike Scientists Create 1:59 Marathon in Test Tube

May 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Nike Scientists Create 1:59 Marathon in Test Tube

A laboratory setting affords "absolute control over every variable."

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May 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marathons, Nike, Science
May 02, 2017

EXCLUSIVE: Nike Is the Mystery Company Behind 'Breaking2' Effort

May 02, 2017/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Nike Is the Mystery Company Behind 'Breaking2' Effort

The footwear maker had hoped to keep its support quiet. 

Read More
May 02, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marketing, Marathons, Nike
March 08, 2016

Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

A $500,000 "commitment bonus" raises eyebrows. (Not ours, Nike lawyers! Ha ha!)

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March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Nike, Dr. Dumb, Kenya, Bribe
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  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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