‘Runners Don’t Belong on Road,’ Says Operator of Speeding 3-Ton Infotainment Center
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Runners “don’t belong on the road,” a local man announced yesterday from the driver’s seat of his RAM 2500 Laramie, a truck that is 7 feet wide, 6.5 feet tall, and 19 feet long; weighs 6,000 pounds; and has a wifi-enabled infotainment system including a 12-inch touchscreen.
“Look at this guy,” said Charles M. Burns, 54, a sales executive for an insurance company, craning his neck to peer over the vehicle’s towering hood at a man running on the shoulder. “Right there in the middle of traffic.”
“Get off the road!” Burns yelled.
It is unclear whether the runner heard the remark over the music playing in Burns’ truck, which boasts an interior active noise cancellation system and 900-watt Harman Kardon® Premium Audio system with 17 speakers “designed for an immersive listening experience.”
Reacting to the runner’s apparent indifference, Burns gunned the 410-horsepower V-8 engine, sending the three-ton vehicle vaulting forward. Almost immediately afterward he braked to avoid rear-ending another vehicle stopped at a red light. Minutes later, Burns reached his destination, a local supermarket.
Others who should not use public streets and roads, Burns told Dumb Runner via a video call from I-205, include walkers and cyclists.
