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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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July 01, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #20: 'Legend'

July 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #20: 'Legend'

Stop. You’re killing me.

Read More
July 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Comics, Pheidippides, Clichés, Legends
June 30, 2021

High School Runner Loses Shoe 1 Mile From Finish Line and Quits, Because What’s He Supposed to Do? Run With Just One Shoe?

June 30, 2021/ Mark Remy
High School Runner Loses Shoe 1 Mile From Finish Line and Quits, Because What’s He Supposed to Do? Run With Just One Shoe?

Teen figured he had “literally no other option.”

Read More
June 30, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation, Satire
Track meets, Track, Shoes
June 28, 2021

Simone Biles Emerges as Surprise Winner of Women’s 10,000m at Olympic Track Trials

June 28, 2021/ Mark Remy
Simone Biles Emerges as Surprise Winner of Women’s 10,000m at Olympic Track Trials

Even outside her discipline, champion gymnast continues to amaze.

Read More
June 28, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Track meets, Simone Biles, 5000m
June 23, 2021

Local Runner’s Urine Color Not on Any Chart He’s Ever Seen

June 23, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Runner’s Urine Color Not on Any Chart He’s Ever Seen

Man fears dehydration may be the least of his worries.

Read More
June 23, 2021/ Mark Remy/
June 21, 2021

Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

Computer modeling produces images of motorist with eyes ahead, both hands on wheel.

Read More
June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
3D, Motorists, Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Science
June 16, 2021

Homophobe Horrified to Learn Fellow Runners Think He’s Celebrating Pride Month

June 16, 2021/ Mark Remy
Homophobe Horrified to Learn Fellow Runners Think He’s Celebrating Pride Month

For local man, shirt conveys an unintended message.

Read More
June 16, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Rainbows, Pride, Homophobes
June 14, 2021

Proposed Auto-Safety Feature Would Keep Pedestrians, Cyclists Away With Painful Ultrasonic Waves

June 14, 2021/ Mark Remy
Proposed Auto-Safety Feature Would Keep Pedestrians, Cyclists Away With Painful Ultrasonic Waves

“Excruciating” sensation would encourage vulnerable road user to stay away.

Read More
June 14, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Auto industry, Cycling, Traffic
June 10, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

Some truths are too dangerous to be uttered aloud.

Read More
June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Virtual race, Marathons, Race director
June 09, 2021

Company Name a Real Misnomer, Local Runner Finds

June 09, 2021/ Mark Remy
Company Name a Real Misnomer, Local Runner Finds

“Nothing sweet about it,” says user of portable toilet.

Read More
June 09, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Porta potty, Misnomer, Poop
June 03, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #18: 'Sticker'

June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #18: 'Sticker'

Sooner or later, your past will catch up to you.

Read More
June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Police, Motorists, Stickers, 26.2, Misrepresentation
June 03, 2021

New CDC Guidelines Say Vaccinated Runners May Resume Blowing Snot on Whoever Happens to Be Nearby

June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
New CDC Guidelines Say Vaccinated Runners May Resume Blowing Snot on Whoever Happens to Be Nearby

Federal agency OKs practice of “rapid nasal mucus dispersal.”

Read More
June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
COVID-19, Coronavirus, Snot, Science
June 02, 2021

Celebrate Global Running Day by Looking at These Pictures of People Running

June 02, 2021/ Mark Remy
Celebrate Global Running Day by Looking at These Pictures of People Running

They are really enjoying themselves.

Read More
June 02, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Global Running Day, Pictures of people running, Motivation
May 24, 2021

Longtime NYC Marathoner Excited for Return to In-Person Urinating on Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge

May 24, 2021/ Mark Remy
Longtime NYC Marathoner Excited for Return to In-Person Urinating on Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge

“There’s nothing like it,” says local runner.

Read More
May 24, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Urine, New York City Marathon, Bridge
May 20, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #17: 'Punishment'

May 20, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #17: 'Punishment'

So, you’re a runner, huh?

Read More
May 20, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Comics, Punishment, Nipples
May 19, 2021

Marathon’s COVID Vaccine Requirement Just Like Nazi Germany, Says Man Who Doesn’t Know Anything About Anything

May 19, 2021/ Mark Remy
Marathon’s COVID Vaccine Requirement Just Like Nazi Germany, Says Man Who Doesn’t Know Anything About Anything

“I thought we lived in a Free Country,” dullard writes in Facebook comment.

Read More
May 19, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Vaccines, Marathons, Racing, COVID-19
May 17, 2021

‘I’m Sorry, Dave, I'm Afraid I Can’t Do That,’ Phone Tells Man Trying to Delete Strava

May 17, 2021/ Mark Remy
‘I’m Sorry, Dave, I'm Afraid I Can’t Do That,’ Phone Tells Man Trying to Delete Strava

Man’s name is Dave.

Read More
May 17, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Smartphone, Strava, Data
May 13, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #16: 'Big Sale'

May 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #16: 'Big Sale'

It’s a real problem, Todd.

Read More
May 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire
New Shoes, Compulsive buying, Consumerism, Comics
May 12, 2021

In Final Inconsiderate Act, Heart Attack Victim Blocks Lane One

May 12, 2021/ Mark Remy
In Final Inconsiderate Act, Heart Attack Victim Blocks Lane One

Man forces other runners to go around him.

Read More
May 12, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Track, Heart attack, Rude, Etiquette
May 10, 2021

Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Boston Marathon Qualifying Times

The good doctor is back, and as helpful as ever.

Read More
May 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dr. Dumb, Boston Marathon, BQ
May 05, 2021

Thousands ‘Jog For Kevin’ to Raise Awareness for Kevin

May 05, 2021/ Mark Remy
Thousands ‘Jog For Kevin’ to Raise Awareness for Kevin

“Kevin is a great guy,” says organizer.

Read More
May 05, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Jogging, Awareness, Kevin
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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