Lunch Sad

A local man’s lunch is sad, Dumb Runner has learned.

Peter Abbott, 33, a personal trainer at McGregor Fitness, was at the gym when he took a break for an early lunch, witnesses said. Emerging from a back room with a plastic bag, he sat on a large balance ball and peeled the lid off a small plastic container.

The container appeared to contain nothing but salad greens.

“I was, like, ‘That’s his lunch? That is so sad,’” said Bea Potter, 29, a member of the gym who watched Abbott picking at the leafy mix. “I wanted so bad to give him a sandwich or something.”

Rumors that the greens were dressed with oil and vinegar could not be verified; a reported crouton sighting later turned out to be baseless.

Abbott spent about 10 minutes on the balance ball, witnesses said, slowly chewing and punctuating his bites with sighs.

“Also at one point he broke a tine on his plastic fork,” Potter said. “So he had to pick through his greens with his fingers to remove it.”