'I Love Beet Juice,' Says Total Liar



A lying man paused Saturday, moments before sipping from a cup of beet juice, to declare, "I love beet juice." 

The liar, identified as Alan Hale, Jr., of Provo, Utah, made his proclamation in his workplace break room, as horrified onlookers grimaced.

"What?" he said, fighting the urge to spit the vile liquid across the room. "It's not bad."

Hale went on to cite unspecified "studies" that suggest beet juice is "really good for you."

"Super healthy," he added, forcing himself to take another sip, before adding one more lie. "I drink it all the time."

And now, readers, instead of finishing this I'm going to just stop there. Because I'm starting to get the feeling that most people who see links to Dumb Runner articles on Facebook and Twitter simply chuckle at the headline and image, "like" and (maybe) leave a comment, and move on.

If that's the case, I could save myself a lot of work and just share images and headlines.

So... If you're actually reading this, show me by leaving a comment—either on Facebook or Twitter, if that's how you landed here, or in the comments below—and use the word "pineapple."