Let Us Now Praise the Shower Beer

Mark Remy

Do you enjoy taking showers? Do you enjoy drinking beer?

If you answered "yes" to both those questions, you might want to try not verbalizing your answers to rhetorical questions in things you read. Especially if you tend to shout them. Really. It makes you look like a crazy person.

You might also want to join us in celebrating the official start of summer and, with it, the official start of Shower Beer season.

The Shower Beer, as the name implies, is a beer drunk in the shower. Simple, right? Well, not really. Despite what some people think, there is more to the Shower Beer than meets the eye.

To help others gain a deeper appreciation for the Shower Beer—which, in our opinion, is one of life's chief pleasures—we've put together this little FAQ.

Cheers!

Is any beer drunk in the shower a Shower Beer?
No! This is probably the most common, and most reckless, misconception. The equation is not Shower + Beer = Shower Beer. It is this:

(Long and/or Intense Run x High Heat) + Shower +Beer = Shower Beer

In other words: A true Shower Beer is consumed in the shower immediately following a long or intense run in the heat, resulting in mild dehydration, mild fatigue, deep satisfaction, and an overall sense that you have ****ing EARNED this.

If any of those parts are missing, you are not having a Shower Beer. You are just drinking a beer in the shower. There's a difference.

Is the Shower Beer a summer-only thing? May I have a Shower Beer in, say, the winter?
It doesn't have to be summer for you to have a Shower Beer. But it helps. The Shower Beer is like sweet corn in this regard—yeah, you can have it in January. But it just isn't as good.

Must my Shower Beer be singular?
Not necessarily, but if you're routinely drinking two beers in the shower you are likely either drinking too fast or taking overlong showers. Three or more, you have a problem. 

Should I drink bottled beer in the shower?
No. We would think this goes without saying. 

How about bottled beer poured into a pint glass?
No! No glass!

So just cans, then?
Yes. Or a steel pint cup, such as these fine specimens from Klean Kanteen.

What if I fill my CamelBak with beer and drink it that way?
Now you're just being silly.

Does it matter what kind of beer I choose as my Shower Beer?
Any variety of beer will work, but we generally prefer an IPA or something light, like a lager or a Kölsch.

What's that beer up there in the photo?
That is Rise Up Red India Red Ale, a seasonal offering from Hopworks Urban Brewery, in Portland, Oregon. It is good stuff.

Is seeing beads of condensation form on your cup or can as the steam from your shower envelopes you one of the best parts of the Shower Beer?
Yes.

Can I enjoy a Shower Beer after a morning run?
That depends...

What if I've just finished a marathon, though?
Oh. Good point. Yeah, if you've just finished a marathon, and it's before 10 a.m., knock yourself out.

When and where did the Shower Beer originate?
The Shower Beer dates back at least to ancient Mesopotamia, when laborers would end a hard day's work by sipping bronze cups of strong, unfiltered beer while standing under waterfalls.

Really?
Nah. We made that part up.