Adults-Only Phone Line Promises Runners ‘Hot Marathon Action’ at $1.99 Per Minute
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Marine Corps Marathon 'Proceeding as Planned,' Says Race Director From Remote Jungle Compound
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“Are my methods unsound?” Kurtz wonders aloud.
Read MoreFlorida Governor Offers to Host Chicago Marathon
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Sunshine State is “the perfect place” for recently canceled event, says a coughing DeSantis.
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon Organizers Unveil Safety Plan for Grand Piano Plummeting From High Rise
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Afternoon walk is “proceeding as planned,” they say.
Read MoreVirtual Race Expo Gives Local Runner Chance to Navigate Dense Virtual Crowd to Purchase Official $18 Shot Glass
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“Wow,” says man from living room. “It’s like I’m there.”
Read MoreMarine Corps Marathon ‘Proceeding as Planned’ as Asteroid Casts Shadow Over Entire Eastern Seaboard
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Organizers “implementing safety measures” for October event.
Read MoreEvery Running Event in the World Canceled Forever
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“You know what?” says global group of race directors. “Fuck it.”
Read MoreCouple Still Laughing Over Guy Who Screamed ‘Run, Forrest!’ at Them
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Bystander’s wisecrack provides endless amusement.
Read MoreGenerous Runner Shares His Music With Everyone in 30-Foot Radius
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Bluetooth speaker enables act of selflessness.
Read More'Let's See Where This Goes,' Says Chicago Marathon Director From Parallel Universe He's Been Living in Since Mid-February
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Race still on for now, but news is being “carefully monitored.”
Read MoreCowbells Aren’t Just for Marathons, Says Marketer Sitting on Warehouse Full of Unsold Product
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Metallic noisemakers have any number of uses, insists nation’s largest manufacturer.
Read More14 Ways to Make Your Virtual Marathon More Realistic
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E.g., Hire a lawyer to write a 12,000-word waiver for your event, then sign without reading it.
Read MoreOrganizers of 'Confederate General and First Grand Wizard of KKK Nathan Bedford Forrest Memorial Marathon' Consider Name Change
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“Something shorter would be easier to remember,” says race director.
Read MoreRunner Slaps Hood of Car, Prompting Long and Thoughtful Discussion With Driver
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For two strangers, interaction yields empathy and perspective.
Read MoreExclusive: 2020 Boston Marathon Is Back On, But It’s Happening Tomorrow So Get There ASAP
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“Hurry!” says a spokesperson.
Read MoreLocal Man Wonders Whether He’ll Ever Be Able to Return to Using Running as Pretext for Meeting Strangers for Anonymous Sex in Wooded Areas
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“Runner” yearns to get back to normal.
Read MoreMan Cleaning Theragun Accidentally Massages Self in Thigh
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Alcohol was a factor, sources say.
Read MoreMan Has That Weird Dream Again Where He Runs Marathon Without Incident on Scheduled Date and Everything Is Fine
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“So bizarre,” runner says upon waking.
Read MoreGroup of 7 Adult Runners Apparently All Live Together, Which Must Be Cool
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“What other explanation could there be?” asks witness.
Read MoreDirty Running Shorts Enter 9th Week in Dark Gym Locker
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