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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 08, 2023

‘Running Before Work Gives Me Energy All Day Long,’ Says Man Everyone Hates

May 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Running Before Work Gives Me Energy All Day Long,’ Says Man Everyone Hates

“Oh, God,” says officemate. “Here he comes.”

Read More
May 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Guy you work with, Morning run, Hate
May 05, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #80: 'Dope'

May 05, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #80: 'Dope'

The more you know…

Read More
May 05, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
EPO, Doping, Triathlon, Online shopping
May 01, 2023

Chicago Marathon Is New Title Sponsor of New York City Marathon

May 01, 2023/ Mark Remy
Chicago Marathon Is New Title Sponsor of New York City Marathon

Race organizers call new partnership “a perfect fit.”

Read More
May 01, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Chicago Marathon, New York City Marathon, Sponsorships, Meta
April 26, 2023

2:56 Is Local Man’s Marathon PR, Local Man Announces at 2:56

April 26, 2023/ Mark Remy
2:56 Is Local Man’s Marathon PR, Local Man Announces at 2:56

Statement met with lukewarm response.

Read More
April 26, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Watch, Marathons, PR, Lukewarm
April 24, 2023

2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

Dedicated sections will be “equal” to those for whites, statement says.

Read More
April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
B.A.A., Boston Marathon, Racism, Police, Plessy, Ferguson
April 21, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #79: 'Fish'

April 21, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #79: 'Fish'

Run it off.

Read More
April 21, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Injuries, Fish oil, Advice
April 18, 2023

Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

Legendary marathoner can’t catch a break.

Read More
April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Vacation rental, Locks, Irritants
April 16, 2023

BREAKING: Kipchoge Leads Boston Police on High-Speed Chase in Stolen Duck Tours Vehicle

April 16, 2023/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Kipchoge Leads Boston Police on High-Speed Chase in Stolen Duck Tours Vehicle

Erratic act appears to be “crime of opportunity.”

Read More
April 16, 2023/ Mark Remy/
April 12, 2023

Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

Side effects are limited to mild confusion and drooling, statement says.

Read More
April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unicorns, Boston Marathon, B.A.A., Horse, Animal cruelty, Online firestorm
April 11, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Cow?!?

Add another animal to the ever-growing list of threats to runners.

Read More
April 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Cows, Beef, Attacks, Safety
April 06, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

Now who’s laughing?

Read More
April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Bear, Jokes, Mauling
April 05, 2023

No One Gets Old Runner’s ‘SNL’ References

April 05, 2023/ Mark Remy
No One Gets Old Runner’s ‘SNL’ References

Fifty-something man’s comments puzzle younger club members.

Read More
April 05, 2023/ Mark Remy/
April 03, 2023

Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Man Sorry For Pointing Out That Wife ‘Barely’ Qualified for Boston

Husband also regrets mentioning use of carbon-plated shoes.

Read More
April 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Couple, Boston Marathon, BQ, Tact
March 24, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #77: 'Trash'

This watch is garbage.

Read More
March 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Comics, Watch, Technology
March 23, 2023

Rookie Podiatrist Throws Up at First Look at Marathoner’s Feet

March 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
Rookie Podiatrist Throws Up at First Look at Marathoner’s Feet

“You see photos in textbooks,” says man, “but it’s not the same.”

Read More
March 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Podiatry, Feet, Marathons, Terror, Nausea
March 20, 2023

Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Tracking Device in Marathon Bib Number

March 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Tracking Device in Marathon Bib Number

“They’re watching you literally every step of the way,” man says.

Read More
March 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bib number, Conspiracy theories, Marat, Surveillance state, Paranoia
March 17, 2023

Local Runner Breaks Stroller Record at Barkley Marathons

March 17, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Breaks Stroller Record at Barkley Marathons

Baby daughter “slept through a lot of it,” man says.

Read More
March 17, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Stroller, Course records, Parenthood
March 15, 2023

Speaker Using Marathon Metaphor Has Clearly Never Run a Marathon

March 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Speaker Using Marathon Metaphor Has Clearly Never Run a Marathon

Man betrays ignorance to large audience.

Read More
March 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Public speaking, Marathons, Metaphors
March 09, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #76: 'Implicit'

Statistics are a love language, too.

Read More
March 09, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Traffic, Death, Love
March 08, 2023

Shirley Jackson Marathon Announces Lottery ‘Winners’

March 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
Shirley Jackson Marathon Announces Lottery ‘Winners’

Race director flooded with desperate protests.

Read More
March 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
References, Lott, Marathons, Death, Shirley Jackson, Stones
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  • Running 101/
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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  • INFO/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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