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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 28, 2019

Farah Regrets Running London Marathon With Hand Weights

April 28, 2019/ Mark Remy
Farah Regrets Running London Marathon With Hand Weights

Fifth-place finisher calls decision ”foolish” in hindsight.

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April 28, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
London Marathon, Mo Farah, Hand weights, Regret, Racing, Eliud Kipchoge
April 14, 2019

Boston Marathoners Starting to Think Bus Driver Lost

April 14, 2019/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathoners Starting to Think Bus Driver Lost

Hopkinton nowhere in sight as passengers grow nervous.

Read More
April 14, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Schoolbus, Hopkinton, Lost
April 08, 2019

Boston Marathon Forecast Calls for More Bullshit Weather

April 08, 2019/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Forecast Calls for More Bullshit Weather

“What, again?” says one runner. “Are you f***ing kidding me?”

Read More
April 08, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Weather, Boston Marathon, Bullshit, Forecast
April 03, 2019

3 Vendors Still Missing in Barkley Marathons 32,000-Acre Unmarked Race Expo

April 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
3 Vendors Still Missing in Barkley Marathons 32,000-Acre Unmarked Race Expo

Reps for GU, KT Tape, and The Stick last seen Saturday.

Read More
April 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Expo, Lost
March 16, 2019

Irish Jogger Finds Dead Leprechaun

March 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Irish Jogger Finds Dead Leprechaun

Woman discovers “wee man” just before St. Patrick’s Day.

Read More
March 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
St. Patrick's Day, Leprechaun, Joggers, Dead body
March 13, 2019

Baby Terrified

March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Baby Terrified

Local infant is immobilized and rocketed through alien landscape.

Read More
March 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Baby, Terror, Fear, Stroller, Trail running, Mother
March 10, 2019

'Sometimes It's Like You Have a Paywall Around Your Heart,' Girlfriend Tells Runner's World Editor

March 10, 2019/ Mark Remy
'Sometimes It's Like You Have a Paywall Around Your Heart,' Girlfriend Tells Runner's World Editor

Woman unsure she’ll ever earn unlimited access to partner’s inner self.

Read More
March 10, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Runner's World, Paywall, Relationships, Current events, Premium content, Heartbreak, Love
February 20, 2019

Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy
Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

California man is stable but unresponsive.

Read More
February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stoked, Hospital, Safety, Trail running
February 15, 2019

72 Reasons to Support Dumb Runner

February 15, 2019/ Mark Remy
72 Reasons to Support Dumb Runner

And that’s a conservative number.

Read More
February 15, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Pledge drive, Originality, Support Dumb Runner, Gratitude
February 06, 2019

Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

A recent news story raises a few questions.

Read More
February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Mountain lion, Cats, News, Dr. Dumb
February 03, 2019

Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

Just so you know.

Read More
February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Cold, Weather, Star Wars, Tauntauns, Survival, Opinion
January 28, 2019

Safety Pin Enters Abdomen

January 28, 2019/ Mark Remy
Safety Pin Enters Abdomen

“Ow!” says local runner.

Read More
January 28, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News
Bib number, Safety pins, Skin, Ouch
January 18, 2019

RunnersWorld.com Homepage Just One Big Affiliate Link

January 18, 2019/ Mark Remy
RunnersWorld.com Homepage Just One Big Affiliate Link

Legacy media brand takes e-commerce to the next level.

Read More
January 18, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Runner's World, Affiliate links, E-commerce, Sad
January 16, 2019

Sexually Awakened Jogger Discovers Own Body

January 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Sexually Awakened Jogger Discovers Own Body

For local woman, post-workout routine takes a sensual turn.

Read More
January 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sexual liberation, Joggers, Discovery, Sensual pleasure
December 23, 2018

Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

Aging relative awaits reaction to Christmas present.

Read More
December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Holidays, Christmas, Aunts, Gifts
December 19, 2018

Year in Review: Dumb Runner’s 12 Most Popular Articles of 2018

December 19, 2018/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Dumb Runner’s 12 Most Popular Articles of 2018

If you read just one Dumb Runner article this year, make it this one.

Read More
December 19, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
2018, Most Popular
November 28, 2018

Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

Artwork is earliest known reference to “joggers vs. runners” division.

Read More
November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Prehistory, Cave paintings, Joggers, Archaeology
November 26, 2018

In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

Runner in trail race chooses completely random moment to dig deep.

Read More
November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Men, Passing, Ego
November 21, 2018

Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

“MEAT IS MURDER” message casts pall over Thanksgiving 5K.

Read More
November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thanksgiving, Meat, Vegetarian
November 13, 2018

11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy
11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

Sports bras are just the beginning.

Read More
November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Football, Distraction, Sports bras, Women's running, Patriarchy, Bullshit
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  • Running 101/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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