Sexually Awakened Jogger Discovers Own Body

A local jogger this week discovered a body, Dumb Runner has learned—her own.

Chrissy Amphlett, 33, made the discovery Tuesday evening about an hour after returning from a short jog through a wooded park near her home.

“For whatever reason, I decided to undress in front of my full-length mirror,” Amphlett told Dumb Runner in an interview. “And instead of peeling off my clothes and dashing to the shower, like I usually do, I sort of stood there and took my time, watching myself.”

It was an uncharacteristic move, Amphlett said, as she’s never felt comfortable with her body.

“I’ve always had issues,” she said. “Especially when I’m naked. I just feel super-self-conscious and vulnerable.”

This time, however, she lingered in front of the mirror, admiring her own curves as a wave of “sexual awakening” swept away her insecurities, laying bare a raw, animal sensuality she never knew was there. Before she knew what was happening, Amphlett said, she found herself caressing her thighs.

“It might have been partly due to the two glasses of wine I’d had,” she said.

Soon after that, said Amphlett, she drew a hot bubble bath, lit some candles, and put on a Marvin Gaye album. After pouring herself a third glass of wine, she slipped into the tub and continued her self-guided journey of discovery.

While she lost track of time, Amphlett estimates she spent more than 30 minutes plumbing the depths—and the heights—of her own desire, exploring every inch of her flesh as if for the first time.

She reached the heights of desire no fewer than four times, she said.

“As a jogger, I’ve always been aware of the risks of finding a body,” said Amphlett. “I never imagined the body I discovered would be my own, or that the encounter would be so rapturous.”

“I look forward to discovering my own body again sometime very soon.”

Amphlett added that she’d like to apologize to her neighbors for the noise.