Boston Marathon Forecast Calls for More Bullshit Weather



In the final days before the 2019 Boston Marathon, meteorologists have a warning for participants: Brace yourselves for some bullshit weather. Again.

The latest forecasts for race day—Monday, April 15—are calling for rain, winds, and all that kind of bullshit—i.e., the same bullshit that runners faced in 2018.

Reaction among runners has not been good.

"What, again?" said Barry Gibb, a runner in Framingham, a town on the marathon course. “Are you f***ing kidding me?”

“Come on,” he said. “That is some grade-A bullshit, man.”

Gibb said bad weather won't stop him from running Monday in what will be his fourth Boston Marathon, just as last year’s bad weather didn’t deter him. But, he said, "This forecast is the last thing I need. Again." 

Experts warn that bullshit rain can lead to any number of problems for runners, from blisters to worse-than-normal chafing to slips and falls—all of which are also bullshit.

Weather has always been a wild card at Boston. In past years, marathoners have run in everything from bullshit extreme heat to bullshit ice and snow. Bullshit headwinds are not uncommon.

The weather in eastern Massachusetts so far this year, as in much of the country, has been a seemingly never-ending stream of crazy bullshit, which apparently is the new normal.

"I wish the news were better," said Maurice Robin, a local meteorologist. "But I'm afraid runners on Monday will indeed be dealing with some less than ideal weather."

"It's bullshit," he said. "I know."