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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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February 08, 2021

QAnon Follower Struggles to Balance Marathon Training, Waging Existential War Against Satanic Cannibal Pedophiles of ‘Demoncrat’ Party

February 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
QAnon Follower Struggles to Balance Marathon Training, Waging Existential War Against Satanic Cannibal Pedophiles of ‘Demoncrat’ Party

“There are only so many hours in the day,” says busy mother of two.

Read More
February 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Training, Juggling, Time management, QAnon, Politics, Satanic Pedophiles
February 03, 2021

Angry Man Launches 7,000-Pound Missile

February 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Angry Man Launches 7,000-Pound Missile

Officials urge vulnerable road users to watch out for the weapon, identified as a black F-350 XLT.

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February 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Anger
February 01, 2021

Organizers of Schrödinger Marathon Say 2021 Race Is Canceled and Still On

February 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Organizers of Schrödinger Marathon Say 2021 Race Is Canceled and Still On

Runners struggle with apparent paradox.

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February 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Schrödinger, Cats, Paradox, Marathons, Cancelation, COVID-19, Coronavirus
January 22, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #10: '24 Hours'

January 22, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #10: '24 Hours'

One more in what is becoming a regular series.

Read More
January 22, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News
Ultras, Hallucinogens, Fatigue, Mayor McCheese, Comics
January 21, 2021

For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

Local runners instead chat about work, pop culture, weekend plans.

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January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Politics, Running buddy, Chitchat, Donald Trump, Joe Biden
January 18, 2021

Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

Dark shape “sure looked like a dog to me,” says local man.

Read More
January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Stumps, Freezing lakes, Poor judgment
January 13, 2021

Runner Caught Defecating in Gazebo Calls for Healing, Unity

January 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Runner Caught Defecating in Gazebo Calls for Healing, Unity

Fines or other penalties would only drive nation further apart, woman says.

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January 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Politics, Poop, Gazebo, Porta potty, Spurious logic
January 11, 2021

'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy
'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

Local runner seems pleased with initial results.

Read More
January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Hallucinogens, Mushrooms, Altered state
January 04, 2021

Shark Attacks on Runners Remained Flat in 2020, Report Says

January 04, 2021/ Mark Remy
Shark Attacks on Runners Remained Flat in 2020, Report Says

Three rumored incidents turn out to be baseless.

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January 04, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sharks, Attacks, Joggers, Hidden Health Risks, Data
January 01, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #8: 'Resolutions'

January 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #8: 'Resolutions'

That’s right: One more in an occasional series.

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January 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, New Year, Stretching
December 28, 2020

INSPIRATIONAL: With All Her Races Canceled, She Abandoned Running and Took Up Cycling

December 28, 2020/ Mark Remy
INSPIRATIONAL: With All Her Races Canceled, She Abandoned Running and Took Up Cycling

“Even when things look bleak,” says former runner, “there’s always a way through.”

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December 28, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Cancelation, Cycl, Adaptation, Inspiration
December 24, 2020

Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

Older married couple “barely resisted,” say longtime training partners.

Read More
December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Santa Claus, Elders, Trail running, Theft, Headwear, Pointless cruelty
December 18, 2020

Dumb Runner Illustrated #7: 'Can You Hold It?'

December 18, 2020/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #7: 'Can You Hold It?'

You guessed it: One more in an occasional series.

Read More
December 18, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Poop
December 16, 2020

Local Web Designer Suffers Severe Reaction to LetsRun.com Homepage

December 16, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Web Designer Suffers Severe Reaction to LetsRun.com Homepage

Victim may never fully recover aesthetic sensibilities, doctors say.

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December 16, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
LetsRun.com, Aesthetic sensibilities, Web design, Information overload
December 14, 2020

Man Fears Tweet About His Morning Run Already Lost in Today’s 24/7 News Cycle

December 14, 2020/ Mark Remy
Man Fears Tweet About His Morning Run Already Lost in Today’s 24/7 News Cycle

Local runner contends with firehose of content.

Read More
December 14, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Morning run, News, Social media, 24/7 news cycle
December 09, 2020

Nuun Calls Trials of Vaccine-Flavored Tablets 'Very Promising'

December 09, 2020/ Mark Remy
Nuun Calls Trials of Vaccine-Flavored Tablets 'Very Promising'

Company says first doses could be ready in months.

Read More
December 09, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Nutrition, Satire
Nuun, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Fizzy color, Science, Hydration, Marketing
December 04, 2020

Dumb Runner Illustrated #6: 'Bike Lane'

December 04, 2020/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #6: 'Bike Lane'

One more in an occasional series.

Read More
December 04, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Bikes, Little girls, Potty mouty
November 23, 2020

High-Stakes Gambler Goes for Morning Run Without Pooping First

November 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
High-Stakes Gambler Goes for Morning Run Without Pooping First

“I live life on the edge,” says local runner.

Read More
November 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Poop, Gambling, Morning run
November 20, 2020

Last-Minute Entrant Excited for 58th Annual JFK 50 Mile

November 20, 2020/ Mark Remy
Last-Minute Entrant Excited for 58th Annual JFK 50 Mile

“I love big events,” says bespectacled competitor.

Read More
November 20, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Ultras, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Clumsy disguise, Not funny
November 20, 2020

Dumb Runner Illustrated #5: 'Marathon PR'

November 20, 2020/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #5: 'Marathon PR'

Yet another in an occasional series.


Read More
November 20, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, PR, Rules, Comics
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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