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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 05, 2025

Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

New directive flummoxes athletes and event directors alike.

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May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Triathlon, Donald Trump, Executive orders
March 10, 2025

Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Kudos From Canada and Mexico

March 10, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Kudos From Canada and Mexico

No one sure how this will work.

Read More
March 10, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Strava, Kudos, Donald Trump, Tariffs
November 27, 2024

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2024 Edition

November 27, 2024/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2024 Edition

Here we go again, folks.

Read More
November 27, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Donald Trump, Thanksgiving, Family
January 31, 2024

Trump Blasts U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials as ‘Politically Motivated’

January 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Trump Blasts U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials as ‘Politically Motivated’

Former president excoriates non-existent judge.

Read More
January 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympic Marathon Trials, Donald Trump, Mental health, Justice
November 15, 2023

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

He’s still around! Ha ha! Isn’t that great?

Read More
November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Donald Trump, Thanksgiving, Socially awkward, Family
November 23, 2021

Here’s How Runners Can Dodge Political Talk This Thanksgiving

November 23, 2021/ Mark Remy
Here’s How Runners Can Dodge Political Talk This Thanksgiving

Defuse and deflect hot-button issues with these verbal diversions.

Read More
November 23, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Real
Thanksgiving, Donald Trump, Politics, Family
January 21, 2021

For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

Local runners instead chat about work, pop culture, weekend plans.

Read More
January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Politics, Running buddy, Chitchat, Donald Trump, Joe Biden
October 05, 2020

White House Doctor Admits Trump Did Not 'Snag Top 10 Finish' in London Marathon

October 05, 2020/ Mark Remy
White House Doctor Admits Trump Did Not 'Snag Top 10 Finish' in London Marathon

Conley walks back upbeat statement from previous news conference.

Read More
October 05, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Coronavirus, COVID-19, Donald Trump, London Marathon
May 06, 2017

Trump: Andrew Jackson Would Have Broken 2 Hours in Marathon

May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
Trump: Andrew Jackson Would Have Broken 2 Hours in Marathon

President weighs in on recent Breaking2 attempt.

Read More
May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marathons, Andrew Jackson, Donald Trump
February 20, 2017

Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

Join us in honoring those not lost in an attack that didn't happen.

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February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Sweden, Never forget, Donald Trump
January 29, 2017

With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy
With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

For American runners, a farewell to the 5K—and more.

Read More
January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Metric system, Donald Trump
December 18, 2016

Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

Once again, the President-Elect looks to the private sector for a leadership role.

Read More
December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Fitness, Drywall
November 23, 2016

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

The trick is to interject immediately, redirecting before things have a chance to escalate.

Read More
November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Donald Trump, 2016 election, Thanksgiving, Politics
November 17, 2016

New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

"We don't even use the fur. It's just a stress-relief thing."

Read More
November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
New Balance, TPP, Donald Trump, Baby seals
January 26, 2016

Sanders, Trump Agree to 'Runoff' in Iowa

January 26, 2016/ Mark Remy
Sanders, Trump Agree to 'Runoff' in Iowa

With caucuses less than a week away, another race looms.

Read More
January 26, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, 2016 election, Politics
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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