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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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October 19, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

Sometimes, communication is a one-way street.

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October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Etiquette, Greetings
October 18, 2023

What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

The popular Thanksgiving Day event expects a field of 640,000.

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October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Pathological lying
October 12, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

Try changing “iteration” to “version.”

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October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Shoes, Gear, World Record, Marathons, Media, Journalism, Verbs
October 11, 2023

Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

Rounding down “not cool,” experts say.

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October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Kelvin Kiptum, Marathons, World Record, PR, Etiquette
September 29, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

This is why you make a list.

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September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Gear, New runners, Consumerism, Dammit
September 25, 2023

Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

Repeated calls to front desk fail to stop noise.

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September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Berlin Marathon, Hotel room, Party, Rude
September 18, 2023

In Break From Tradition, Boston Marathon Will Now Accept Entrants Based on Personal Whims of This Construction Worker From Dorchester

September 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
In Break From Tradition, Boston Marathon Will Now Accept Entrants Based on Personal Whims of This Construction Worker From Dorchester

Local man will “go with his gut” in deciding whether applicants get in.

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September 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, BQ, Whims, Thumbs up, Thumbs down
September 15, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #90: 'Cram'

September 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #90: 'Cram'

This calls for an all-nighter!

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September 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Train, Marat, Sick, Bad ideas
September 11, 2023

Local Runner and Star Trek Enthusiast Can't Believe How Hard It Is to Find a Simple Marathon Training Plan for Speakers of Klingon

September 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner and Star Trek Enthusiast Can't Believe How Hard It Is to Find a Simple Marathon Training Plan for Speakers of Klingon

“qeylIS 'oH mIwvam'e',” says man.

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September 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Training, Klingon, Star Trek
August 31, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #89: 'Bandit'

August 31, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #89: 'Bandit'

His powers of rationalization are superhuman!

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August 31, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Bandits, Rationalization, Excuses
August 18, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #88: 'Chill'

August 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #88: 'Chill'

Less profanity, for one thing.

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August 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Rage, Motorists, Meditation, Chill, Zen
August 14, 2023

‘Every Marathon Teaches Me Something New,’ Says Man Who Makes Same Three Mistakes in Every Marathon

August 14, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Every Marathon Teaches Me Something New,’ Says Man Who Makes Same Three Mistakes in Every Marathon

Local man unaware of things he’s unaware of.

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August 14, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Mistakes, Awareness
August 09, 2023

Family of 83-Year-Old 5K Finisher Asks Race Director to Hurry It Up With That Age-Group Award, if You Know What They Mean

August 09, 2023/ Mark Remy
Family of 83-Year-Old 5K Finisher Asks Race Director to Hurry It Up With That Age-Group Award, if You Know What They Mean

“I mean, come on,” says woman’s daughter.

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August 09, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Age group awards, Seniors, Marathons, Race director, Inexorable march toward death
August 03, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #87: 'Mileage'

August 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #87: 'Mileage'

Just say “about five” and move on.

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August 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Talk, Chitchat, Mileage, Socially awkward
July 28, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #86: 'Spotted'

July 28, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #86: 'Spotted'

They really are beautiful creatures.

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July 28, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Ultras, Food, Binoculars, Beards
July 26, 2023

Dedicated Runner Heads Outdoors Despite Record Heat, Poor Air Quality, Mysterious Green Light Emitted From Dozens of Massive Alien Spaceships Hovering Over Midwestern States

July 26, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dedicated Runner Heads Outdoors Despite Record Heat, Poor Air Quality, Mysterious Green Light Emitted From Dozens of Massive Alien Spaceships Hovering Over Midwestern States

“It’s not ideal,” says local woman, “but I’ve gotta get my miles in.”

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July 26, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Heat, Air quality, Green light, Extraterrestrials, Hidden Health Risks
July 24, 2023

Eco-Conscious Runner Doubly Hurt When Hit By Driver of Gas-Powered Vehicle

July 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
Eco-Conscious Runner Doubly Hurt When Hit By Driver of Gas-Powered Vehicle

Planet-destroying truck nearly destroys planet-loving man.

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July 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Fossil fuels, Environment, Injuries
July 17, 2023

ASICS CEO Motoi Oyama Bares All in Runner's World 'Body Issue'

July 17, 2023/ Mark Remy
ASICS CEO Motoi Oyama Bares All in Runner's World 'Body Issue'

Septuagenarian poses in nothing but a pair of GEL-KAYANOs.

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July 17, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Runner's World, Magazine covers, Asics, Skin
July 13, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #85: 'Robot'

July 13, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #85: 'Robot'

Also, he hates treadmills.

Read More
July 13, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Robots, Science, Treadmill, Technology
July 12, 2023

Local Runner Writing Race Report Begins 28th Paragraph With No Signs of Slowing

July 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Writing Race Report Begins 28th Paragraph With No Signs of Slowing

Retelling of recent marathon becomes its own test of endurance.

Read More
July 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Social media, Verbosity, Race report
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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