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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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March 19, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #12: 'Middle of the Road'

March 19, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #12: 'Middle of the Road'

More comic! Dozenth comic!

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March 19, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Middle of the road, Weird, Motorists, Get off the road
March 10, 2021

Study: Running Bent Over Reduces Drag by 40%

March 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Study: Running Bent Over Reduces Drag by 40%

Research “represents a breakthrough,” says lead author.

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March 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Research, Form, Posture
March 08, 2021

Boston Marathon, Dunkin' Team Up for Medal Giveaway

March 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon, Dunkin' Team Up for Medal Giveaway

Promotion aims to “welcome more people to the sport of running.”

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March 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Virtual race, Donuts, Doughnuts, Dunkin', Marketing, Medals
March 03, 2021

Virtual Pikes Peak Marathon Will Let Runners Race Up and Down Any 14,115-Foot Mountain

March 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Virtual Pikes Peak Marathon Will Let Runners Race Up and Down Any 14,115-Foot Mountain

“All you need is the entry fee, a GPS watch, and a 14,115-foot mountain.”

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March 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Pikes Peak, Virtual race, COVID-19, Coronavirus
March 01, 2021

Local Runner Just One Irritant Away From Breaking Point

March 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Just One Irritant Away From Breaking Point

Stress-filled run follows an unusually bad week.

Read More
March 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News
Motor, Cycling, Irritants, Smo, Po, Breaking points
February 22, 2021

Local Runner Vows Not to Resume In-Person Racing Until He Can Convince Himself Through Contorted, Self-Serving Rationalizations That It's Safe

February 22, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Vows Not to Resume In-Person Racing Until He Can Convince Himself Through Contorted, Self-Serving Rationalizations That It's Safe

Man says he’ll rely on flawed logic and cherrypicked “facts” to make decision.

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February 22, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Real
COVID-19, Coronavirus, Cancelation
February 19, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #11: 'Stretching'

February 19, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #11: 'Stretching'

One more comic in a series of comics!

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February 19, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Stretching, Science
February 17, 2021

Old-Fashioned Runner Saving Himself For Marathon He Really Loves

February 17, 2021/ Mark Remy
Old-Fashioned Runner Saving Himself For Marathon He Really Loves

Local man wants his first time to be “special.”

Read More
February 17, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Old-fashioned, Values, Chastity
February 08, 2021

QAnon Follower Struggles to Balance Marathon Training, Waging Existential War Against Satanic Cannibal Pedophiles of ‘Demoncrat’ Party

February 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
QAnon Follower Struggles to Balance Marathon Training, Waging Existential War Against Satanic Cannibal Pedophiles of ‘Demoncrat’ Party

“There are only so many hours in the day,” says busy mother of two.

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February 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Training, Juggling, Time management, QAnon, Politics, Satanic Pedophiles
February 03, 2021

Angry Man Launches 7,000-Pound Missile

February 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Angry Man Launches 7,000-Pound Missile

Officials urge vulnerable road users to watch out for the weapon, identified as a black F-350 XLT.

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February 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Anger
February 01, 2021

Organizers of Schrödinger Marathon Say 2021 Race Is Canceled and Still On

February 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Organizers of Schrödinger Marathon Say 2021 Race Is Canceled and Still On

Runners struggle with apparent paradox.

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February 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Schrödinger, Cats, Paradox, Marathons, Cancelation, COVID-19, Coronavirus
January 22, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #10: '24 Hours'

January 22, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #10: '24 Hours'

One more in what is becoming a regular series.

Read More
January 22, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News
Ultras, Hallucinogens, Fatigue, Mayor McCheese, Comics
January 21, 2021

For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
For First Time Since 2017, Friends Complete Entire Run Without Mentioning You-Know-Who

Local runners instead chat about work, pop culture, weekend plans.

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January 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Politics, Running buddy, Chitchat, Donald Trump, Joe Biden
January 18, 2021

Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Public Can’t Decide Whether to Praise or Ridicule Runner Who Jumped in Lake to Save Dog That Turned Out to Be Stump

Dark shape “sure looked like a dog to me,” says local man.

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January 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Stumps, Freezing lakes, Poor judgment
January 13, 2021

Runner Caught Defecating in Gazebo Calls for Healing, Unity

January 13, 2021/ Mark Remy
Runner Caught Defecating in Gazebo Calls for Healing, Unity

Fines or other penalties would only drive nation further apart, woman says.

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January 13, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Politics, Poop, Gazebo, Porta potty, Spurious logic
January 11, 2021

'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy
'So Far, So Good,' Says Trail Runner Trying Mushrooms for First Time

Local runner seems pleased with initial results.

Read More
January 11, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Trail running, Hallucinogens, Mushrooms, Altered state
January 04, 2021

Shark Attacks on Runners Remained Flat in 2020, Report Says

January 04, 2021/ Mark Remy
Shark Attacks on Runners Remained Flat in 2020, Report Says

Three rumored incidents turn out to be baseless.

Read More
January 04, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sharks, Attacks, Joggers, Hidden Health Risks, Data
January 01, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #8: 'Resolutions'

January 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #8: 'Resolutions'

That’s right: One more in an occasional series.

Read More
January 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, New Year, Stretching
December 28, 2020

INSPIRATIONAL: With All Her Races Canceled, She Abandoned Running and Took Up Cycling

December 28, 2020/ Mark Remy
INSPIRATIONAL: With All Her Races Canceled, She Abandoned Running and Took Up Cycling

“Even when things look bleak,” says former runner, “there’s always a way through.”

Read More
December 28, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Cancelation, Cycl, Adaptation, Inspiration
December 24, 2020

Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runners Can’t Believe How Easy It Was to Take Elderly Couple’s Hats

Older married couple “barely resisted,” say longtime training partners.

Read More
December 24, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Santa Claus, Elders, Trail running, Theft, Headwear, Pointless cruelty
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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